I amicably split from my wife in Dec 2020. After two months alone I got desperate for human touch and made an OLD profile.

I quickly met a lovely woman and we're FWBs I guess? We haven't defined things (no ex talk, not exclusive) but we had a great summer (camping, hiking, biking, dinners, etc.) and I could see it getting serious.

Problem is I haven't told her I'm estranged but still legally married. My ex has health issues that need my insurance and I can not cut her off after 10yrs together

likefunny
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Bad news only gets worse with age. Also, have you looked into options for carrying your wife in your insurance after divorce? Sometimes this is possible.

likesmart

I've spoken with the insurer and they will only consider her a dependent if we are married we have no kids or other dependents on the plan, just her and myself. The discussion I had indicated that they don't seem to take into account whether we cohabitate or are estranged as long as we're legally married.

like

My now husband and his ex weren’t legally divorced until 3+ years after they were separated. And I didn’t know that he was technically still married until a year into our relationship. Other than being a little annoyed by his type B personality and that he glossed over some facts, it didn’t really bother me since I knew they have broken up both emotionally and physically, just not legally. I would say you should bring it up now, talk to her about it, own up to it and explain your perspective, she might not think it’s a dealbreaker.

likehelpful
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Lol

funny

But you did at least tell her you were married right? Or you just hid that whole part of your life?

smart

Oh no 🤨. Tell your FWB ASAP. It'll be better for you both in the long run. Maybe she'll understand once you fully explain the situation to her.

uplifting

Honestly I just think that you’re a good person who did nothing wrong because you wanted to get laid and just enjoy being single and turns out you’re in a situation now where you didn’t expect. I do think that you should be honest though. Lying isn’t a good move.

like

Tell her well framed way ASAP. Let her know that since you were friends with benefits you didn’t want to get into it, but just in case want her to know, then let her know what you said about how you guys have been separated and all that

Why do your exes health issues require your insurance? She’s no longer your responsibility (problem).

I agree, we're both looking to the future and it's not going to permanent. She's working on getting a government plan to cover her health care but, as that process is super slow, we're in a bit of a limbo. That has led to the crux of this post: the apparent escalation of what was meant to be just a FWB situation and how to tactfully bring up my marriage status if things continue to become more and more serious.

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