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Enthusiast
Rising Star
Any 🐟 up for a chat?
Any Boston guys here? Care for a meet up?
Restaurant recos for date night?
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Bowl Leader
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Enthusiast
Anyone follow Millennial Revolution?
Enthusiast
Rising Star
Any 🐟 up for a chat?
Any Boston guys here? Care for a meet up?
Restaurant recos for date night?
Community Builder
Bowl Leader
Conversation Starter
Enthusiast
Anyone follow Millennial Revolution?
Always go on a first date to a place where they do not serve lavish meals, and create a first date which is short (eg you have something important following it).
That way you cannot be suckered by such a leech and you can in the most cost and time effective manner evaluate whether she is is any good.
Fellow guy here; This is a wonderful (and common) question I’ve heard a lot about. I think it comes down to an anachronism (I.e. retaining old world traditions in a modern world). Some observations:
- sheer volume of dates: old school dating was real-life driven. You met a handful of people every week/month, a few of them you found attractive, and even fewer would find you mutually attractive. This resulted in a LOT fewer dates than today’s digitally driven, dating app-originated dating on steroids (especially in cities). I’ve known female friends who go on a new date every weekend with a different guy whom they meet on an app, and get weekend dinners basically paid for. In such a system, there is plenty of room for bad actors to take advantage of a different stranger every weekend.
- men pay: yes, men used to pay. This was because men had exclusive economic control of resources, so it was natural for a man to pick up the tab. This is no longer the case. Women now have significant control of economic resources too.
- but men also order: another so-called old-school dating rule was that men would order for themselves and their date. This was to be considerate since he was the one paying. Today’s equality would consider that chauvinistic.
TLDR; men paying is a old fashioned rule that used to exist in a different world where it made sense for a man to pay. Today’s dating conditions are vastly different from when this rule originated. Although there is still some rationale to continue with this practice.
So far, I’ve only mentioned cons, some pros of men paying are:
- no leading on: some men are notorious for leading a woman on that they’re not serious about. Time affects men and women differently. Women are often on a stringent biological clock that men aren’t on. So, men paying puts a check on this kind of leading on behavior by making aimless dates have a financial cost. If he’s paying, he better have a genuine interest in getting to know her.
I hope you find this a balanced perspective on a pretty nuanced topic.
Enthusiast
Lol was it this girl?
https://joinfishbowl.com/post_mivuz1gj26
Charge it to the game OP, but she’s trash. Dead her and keep it pushing (I’m petty though I’d probably beg for a 2nd date at some fancy location and stand her up if I 100% knew she used me for food)
I tell women where we’re going, and make sure I pick a bar and not a restaurant (typically bars where you don’t think to order food).
I’ve had a few rare instances where I’ve accidentally picked a bar/restaurant combo and when the woman orders food, I just take that L because it’s my fault. I’m not telling her she can’t eat lol
Wow, the men on here with professional careers that are so worried about a few dollars. I have never gone anywhere with a man that would not be thrilled to buy me something to eat. But of course, if I did not want to spend time with him, I would not be staying long enough to order any food. And if I liked him, he would know it, and never feel used.
She sucks
But she didn’t tho
Chief
Wait - she ordered and ate an entire 3 course meal while you just sat there with your drink? So freaking awkward.
I’m a woman, and I find this so weird. Definitely don’t ask her out again. At the very least, she lacks normal social cues; at the most, she is using you for a nice meal.
I would not have paid in this scenario. Bill comes over and I slide it her way!
Conversation Starter
Where do you live? How’d you get a 3 course meal for only $100?
Conversation Starter
Did you get laid? Be honest.
P.S. she slowed responding to texts after dinner. Was it a one $100 meal and done kinda situation? I’m for sure not gonna suggest meeting over food if we do meet next time.
They’ll call the police and what? Say someone left them at dinner?
That isn’t a crime.
Conversation Starter
She belongs to the streets🙏
Enthusiast
Did you not eat at all?
Awkward af
She’s enjoying a meal & you’re there 🥺
Enthusiast
Same question 🤣
That’s super rude and she lacks manners. If someone asks me to drinks/HH, an appetizer or sharing of a few is appropriate, outside of drinks. Honestly, I’m sorry you went through that and she was totally out of line.
Rising Star
I’m a F and I would not ask her out again. This behavior is such a turn off for me.
Why did you just not suggest bill splitting? Did you even ask and she refused?
I’m the opposite of CC1 but assume you don’t want to see this girl again so you could at least ask. I would not have ordered three courses if you were getting nothing but I def would have gotten something to eat.
Enthusiast
No. No "next time." Cut your losses.
Rude! I would have paid for the drinks only as you ordered them let her cover her own dinner…
Enthusiast
She’s terrible, you deserved a better first date
Bro she used you for food. Drop her.
Rising Star
There are girls hot enough to put up with this behavior. Up to you, OP.
She not.
Conversation Starter
What's hh?
Conversation Starter
Y’all are too cute
Enthusiast
Lol
Conversation Starter
First date?