I belong to a minority group and day to day I face criticism, anger and hate directed towards me and sometime even from people in my same minority group. I can’t change the words but I am struggling..

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Can’t see any way around this being an attempted-clever post about being a white male. Would love to be wrong OP!

likesmart

So you think the white people are giving the hard working dark skinned Indians a free pass. But those black guys we’re targeting them. I can honestly tell you I have never met another white guy on a project that was like let’s get this black guy. Let’s just say he wouldn’t be at work tomorrow. I’ve got a good friend that’s a manager and black. He’s a top performer. I tried to hire him and someone beat me to it. Everyone knows him and respects him. I would back off the racial soap box and chalk up your bad experiences to a handful of ignorant people. Maybe you could spend that energy helping the youth of our country get into this field.

likesmart

I wouldn’t assume it’s your minority group that’s the target. You might just be dealing with a leader that’s failing to deliver what was promised. What you feel might be their way of trying to get the project back on track. I can be a bit cold and direct when my team is doing a poor job. It usually follows with replacing the weak people on the team. If you were on the receiving end you might feel like I didn’t like you, but in reality it wasn’t personal. I needed to deliver and you weren’t the skillset I needed to accomplish that goal. Just offering another possible motivation.

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Sounds like it’s just you. You basically said it comes from everybody including your minority brethren. Ever think it’s not your race/culture and it’s just you?

likefunnysmart

Aight, ima head out

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It might not be due to your race, some people are just a-holes.

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Sorry to hear of your situation, OP. Mind sharing your race/ethnicity? I’m sure that would help set context and even allow others in your same situation resonate with yours.

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Sensitivity runs real high here

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If you are willing to look at another person’s behavior toward you as a reflection of the state of their relationship with themselves rather than a statement about your value as a person, then you will, over a period of time cease to react at all.

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Hmmm. Good point.

We as minorities all deal with micro aggressions and marginalization on a daily basis. I’m sorry to say this but your only option is to rise above it and live your life. The Majority’s will never relate and hence nothing will change.

likesmart

Which minority group are you in? And what type of hate and anger do you face?

Hard for folks to provide advice if you don’t provide additional insights.

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Thanks for the replies. Few additional info - The hate/anger is not directed at me. They are not asking to change anything about me. It comes from people at work and outside work equally. The hate/anger is expressed casually (as a matter of fact). At least 2-3 times a week people have said a thing or two about what they don’t like about us. Friends say it casually and others do it directly to my face. And to a degree I accept those things. For example I have seen multiple times people say that they won’t date people from my group. They say we have strong options etc., I agree with most of their complains as there is some truth to it. But i think it’s not relevant cos I can’t change the world. The suggestions I am looking for is how to turn a blind eye to this and be sane?

Sorry guys I don’t want to talk about ethnicity and divert the topic.

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You need to grow a thicker skin :) I am German and I have been dealing with that kind of prejudice in the US from day one. Most people wouldn’t say that I’m a minority because I’m white but , boy!, the comments I had to endure sometimes were just as discriminating. They made me remain distant with a lot of folks. I have only a few American friends. Most of my close friends here are foreigners. I’ve learned over the years that’s it’s not hatred but stupidity. I experienced that especially in the Midwest.
Don’t get frustrated- and don’t identify too much with whatever minority you think you belong to.
Though I’ve been born and raised in a Germany, I’m so much more than that.
And that’s true for everyone.
Oh, and it’s not a specifically American thing. It’s much worse in other countries including Germany. I wouldn’t want to be a minority there.

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Grab the devil by its horns. I struggle everyday with this. Somethings that changed my life was confronting and demystify the bigotry by providing a well thought-out counter view point.
People with empathy became closer, but others don’t bother me. Only a story can counter a story and a story with heart can’t be rebuked.

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Is this at work? If yes, have you talked to HR about your situation?

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Op might be referring to political affiliation (or maybe religion) - that’s how I read it first. Consulting companies are usually very liberal.

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MAD1 something about reading comprehension. It’s not limited to workplace, Sherlock 🤦🏻‍♂️

uplifting

MAD1 you have very myopic and closed minded views. I can’t see how you made it to your position while thinking this way... Oh, I forgot about “networking” and “connections”.

to cope with the hate. It’s starting to bother me sometimes that everyone hates me and I am not welcome anywhere. I do not want to get into the reasons for hate or how to change people. But I need suggestions on how to handle this anger, not be bothered by it and get more inner peace. Can you guys suggest the methods that you follow?

Nobody hates you, OP. They hate the demonized, stereotypical behavior that is consistently attributed to your minority group and they are wrong for it. All you can do is be you, do your thing, and show that you are just like everyone else. Sounds simple but not taking these things personally is the only way you’ll overcome the perceived animosity.

I am Mexican born but raised in the US. I’ve been living here 31 out of my 34 years of life and still get the “your people” comments. Like, mother f&@$$&&$ my people are everyone I grew up with in suburban southern California. What do you mean, my people?

helpfulsmart

Could you provide a couple examples of the hate / criticism that you receive? That might also provide useful context

OP, which ethnic group?

Are you distinguishing between country and people? For instance, criticism of say Switzerland is very different from hate towards the Swiss people.

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