{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I binged Netflix’s Sex/Life last night. And wow! I can soooooo relate to the feelings of regret in my marriage, kids, the burbs… Not to mention wanting that intense butterfly, crazy spinning in my head and feelings from a prior lover. I cried myself to sleep.", "post_id": "60ffd95e6d46250023d08fe0", "reply_count": 70, "vote_count": 30, "bowl_id": "5e8656b80bdab1002a7355dc", "bowl_name": "Confession " }

I binged Netflix’s Sex/Life last night. And wow! I can soooooo relate to the feelings of regret in my marriage, kids, the burbs… Not to mention wanting that intense butterfly, crazy spinning in my head and feelings from a prior lover. I cried myself to sleep.

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OP: It's ok to admit that you don't enjoy parenthood as long as you still show love to your kids. It's ok to find marriage and the suburban lifestyle boring or disappointing. It's ok to miss your single life. I saw you post earlier that you would go insane if you have to make cupcakes again. You don't HAVE to make cupcakes. I'd encourage you to take back your life. Just because you have kids doesn't doom you to a boring or unfulfilling life. Take trips without the kids. Hire a nanny to help care for them, full or part time. Go out without them. Go out to bars with your partner or lady friends. Host adult parties. Having kids doesn't have to be a death knell for the things you enjoy in life. Strike a balance you can live with.

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Not completely there but I have get strongly about not wanting to do chores anymore ( especially cleaning up another messy table) at 1 am after finishing working on slides It’s hard to feel enthusiastic about a situation that does not seem to have light at the end of the tunnel. I still love my kid (yes singular) but it has taken a toll on the relationship with my SO Long way to say : feel your pain. You clearly have had a longer and possibly a tougher journey. Stay strong or find a vice that’s acceptable but let’s you blow steam (I find eating sweets helps so a send a cupcake my way please)

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Big yikes

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I agree completely. It’s hard and thankless and worse for women tbh. As a dad I have low expectations from society, women not so much.

I went through 6 failed iVFs that destroyed my marriage, I would kill for what you have, I have no sympathy for you. Appreciate what you have, how would you feel if you lost it all tomorrow?

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Yikes lady- really distasteful!

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Would recommend Laura Kipnis' Against Love to allow yourself to explore some of the feelings around marriage. It's an interesting take on monogamy without being an argument against it. Really helped me see through some of the thoughts that can make you feel quite trapped like you described. Best of luck OP I hope this feeling is just a season for you and gets better with time ♥️

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I will check it out

This gives me confidence that the disgust I feel at the idea of being a mother is a solid reason to stick to the plan of not having kids. I fear I'd feel this way but much worse.

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MD it gets better. Kids grow up, spread their wings and fly out. You will get your life back! Hang in there, hugs!

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18 years is in a waiting room is no joke, and few of us ever fully recover to reclaim our lost virility - surely, there’s a way to enjoy enough of yourself while the kids are still running around?

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Im just going to say this because there is a lot of judgments on this thread … YOU ARE ALLOWED TO FEEL THE WAY YOU FEEL. There are no rules to this, nor checkboxes, nor one size fits all. Your feelings are valid - don’t feel shame by the amount of judgement on here…

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Y’all are having a surprisingly harsh reaction to what is a very common midlife crisis sentiment. Feel it out, talk it out, maybe eat some cake is my recommendation.

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A cupcake, perhaps? 😁

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Awww hugs!

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I feel this too!!! I love my husband and family, but as a wife and mother I have to be everything to everyone with nothing in return. I don’t pretend to be super woman. I hire help and lots of It. I leave the house without diapers most days because some other super human mom will hand over hers with a smile. Lower your bar and call in help! You know au pairs are only $18,000/yr 😉

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MD sending you hugs

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But have you watched all of Sexy Beasts on Netflix? 😳😬🤣

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I watch a lot of dating shows and this one is so awkward. 🤣

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I felt jealous about the level of passion she had with Brad. I don’t think I’ve experienced that.

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Single gay man with no kids in the city who has the opposite regrets. Be careful what you wish for.

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You regret having kids?

Hmm, do you know how they feel about Janelle Monae? That should help clarify 🤔

You mention thoughts/feelings of a previous lover, have you tried to talk with your husband about ways to improve your current sex life?

Are you sure? The most amazing thing to me about this show is that it feeds into the “girls love bad boys” dynamic. And many of the women who love it complain that their husbands do not do their fair share of household maintenance. There are plenty of husbands/fathers out there (including me) who would love their current relationship to have even some of passion of our past relationships.

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The soft core erotica footage is incredible

Your feelings are valid and you are not wrong for having them! I found myself feeling very similar to you as I watched the series. Although I do not have kids, I definitely feel trapped in my marriage at times.

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