I broke up with my four years long girlfriend just now.
I gave her my older Macbook last year and the iCloud is still valid on her PC ,which caused then a lots of cheating photo taken three years ago had been seen by her today and that happened.(In fact, I am not cheating currently.)
Without this, I would have married her.
What should I do?
Does anyone have any experiences like this?

likefunnysmart
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This is very poorly written.

likefunnyhelpfulsmart

Not as poor as your Audits EY1

funnylikeuplifting

I’m not here to give advice. I’m just here to say that anyone that cheats on their SO is a straight loser. I hope she finds someone that actually loves her.

likeuplifting

This is my last response to this thread.

AD2, you sound bitter; if this is a reflection of your actual personality, I’m positive you’ll end up alone.

BL1, I’m happily married.....for 15 years. I have not cheated on my spouse and I have no intention to do so. And because the possibility of cheating is real, we both discuss it openly without fear or judgment.

If my spouse cheats on me, my last thought will be leaving her. While my first thought might be betrayal, I know her well enough to first obtain answers to the questions:
- Did I catch her red-handed or she confessed?
- Was it a one-time affair?
- How did it happen & with whom?
- What could I have done to prevent it? Fashion, personality, situation, etc.?
- Is she contrite & ready to put it behind her?

The answers to these will determine the next course of action.

I know I’m not perfect & I know she isn’t either. Our ability to resolve misdeeds caused by imperfection & move forward together has been one of our strengths.

In summary, I’m not tossing my relationship aside because of a misdeed. And I’m positive she isn’t willing to do likewise.

Peace out! ✌🏽

likehelpful
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So your girlfriend broke up with you because she saw photos of you cheating on her from three years ago (a year into your relationship). She had access to these photos because you gave her your old laptop to use.

Did I understand that correctly? If so, no, I don’t have an experience like this.

likefunnyhelpful

Lmao

likefunny

“What should I do?” You shouldn’t have cheated. Best of luck finding another girlfriend/ future wife. Don’t cheat on them.

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Nope. Just don’t cheat.

likefunny

I could forgive cheating and I could forgive someone not telling me about cheating for a long time. But photos of cheating? This is that affair-level, egotistical cheating. If it was a one drunken night thing, a kiss or something along those lines, sure. I could try to understand a level of ignorance and getting caught up in a moment. But to take pictures and flaunt it? Gross.

You should learn from this and be proud you picked someone who has a backbone and doesn’t stand for people treating her poorly. I don’t believe in “once a cheater, always a cheater.” But it doesn’t sound like it was a “once” type of thing. Did you take pictures the *one time you cheated or did you have a side relationship where you had multiple, sober opportunities to come clean or make a decision of who you wanted to be with?

One year in you should still be in the honeymoon phase— I can’t fathom having wanted to cheat one year into my relationships. Just because you’re into it now doesn’t mean you deserve her. My advice is to cut your losses and learn from this. A side relationship indifferent of time frame is a level of trust that can’t be brought back in my opinion.

likehelpfulsmart

AA2, okay. My honeymoon phase lasted 2 years because we were long distance. The point was if you’re looking for something else to stimulate you at a YEAR and you don’t break up with your partner then you’re being selfish and you’re being a coward. It’s so easy to dump someone a year in. You’re either head over heels or you’re looking elsewhere. Why stay? Because you want to have your cake and eat it, too. Because you’re either too chicken to man up and admit to your mistakes (or even just your thoughts about that person not being the one for you) or you’re too egotistical to not realize/ care how terrible you’re being to the other person.

likeuplifting

I dislocated my eyes reading this 😞

likefunny

👁️👄👁️

likefunny

Your post isn’t clear. Who cheated and who dumped who?

likefunnysmarthelpful

What kind of a$$hat documents cheating with pics and doesn’t understand the basic facts of photos sharing on the cloud?

Cheating 101
- No pictures or videos (even if she’s a celebrity)!
- Don’t brag about it to people who know you; the less people who know, the better.
- Turn off your auto-save to iCloud or Google.
- Use work phone, if possible.
- You’ll get caught........eventually. Have a backup plan.

As for this girl, you can still get her back. You’ll just have to work twice as hard. 😉

likefunnyhelpful

As someone who has been cheated on and did end up working through it and marrying the man... it takes a long time and effort to build back trust. If you are both willing, see a couples therapist, see your own therapist, and find ways to improve your communication and interaction. If monogamy is agreed upon as a core element of your relationship, you both need to work to maintain that. It’s not easy and love is not enough to get married IMO, but if you have other elements of a solid relationship it is worth the time and investment. We also continue to see a couples therapist together to this day and I would highly recommend even a twice a year checkup as often as you get your teeth cleaned! ;)

For those saying grovel and win her back, please don’t. This is hard enough for her as it is. Don’t make her agonize over her very sound decision to leave you. Let her move on with her life after she’s already wasted 3 years with you. It’s the least you could do man, have some decency.

likesmart

Agreed. That's advice from toxic people lol

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My question is why were there photos OP?

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Sounds like she dodged a bullet

likesmart

Let her go be with someone decent. You should go sit on the naughty step

likefunny

Which is stupider? Cheating or documenting it? I mean, why wouldn’t you wipe the hard drive before giving anyone a hand-me-down computer? (And yes, the lying is bad. I’m just more baffled with the cluelessness.)

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Cracking jokes about serious cheating. This dude is beyond gross and I hope the girl comes to her senses and kicks him out soon

Solution: don’t cheat, ever.

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I had a similar situation. I cheated on an ex as we were moving towards an inevitable breakup (I was moving out of state, among other issues that I needed to sort through without him). We did end up getting back together and I had to confess the cheating. He eventually got over it, but it did hurt our relationship. He did propose to me, but we ended up breaking again, which was for the best. I caught another ex lying and cheating, so I ended up hooking up with someone else when I found out. If a couple gets back together, which I’ve done with 3 different exes, it rarely works. The original reasons you broke up are probably still there. It feels comfortable to go back to them, but if those same issues aren’t resolved the 2nd time around, the relationship will just limp along until you break up again. Breaking that trust is HUGE. She’ll need some space to heal before she can even begin to let you back into her life.

likefunny

Well you have to do it 27 more times and then we can draw a conclusion!

likefunny

Idk if I would bother trying to win her back. If she gets back with you, it’s a foolish move by her. You are not only a cheater, but you didn’t tell her for 3 years. You have honesty issues, so you should consider those first before trying to win her back or get a new gf. You are un-datable until you change

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Also, what fool keeps pictures of cheating on a computer at all, let alone 3 years without deleting. What would possess you to consider “oh yea, seems like a good idea to keep my cheat pictures on my computer forever, just to remember the good times”. Again, original comment that you clearly need to look inward at your dating life and how your personality/commitment play a role

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At least you didn’t get divorced if she found out after you were married.

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After reading this thread: looks like OP wanted people to tell em “the cheating isn’t so bad, next time be smarter about where you put pictures and whay you share with your gf”. If that is what you wanted to hear, why bother posting here.

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What was in the pictures? Hahah

likefunny

What should you do? Take a long look at yourself and reevaluate before you decide to hop into another relationship. Glad your gf found out

like

You blew it dude. Don’t be a cheating dick next time, learn from it.

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