I can't believe I'm writing this here but I have to vent out. My husband is going to work everyday due to the nature of his job. I've been WFH since March. In the past months, he started to be very comfortable with me doing most of the house chores. The thing is everytime I take a break from work, I try to get something done, and I don't mind it. However it came to a point that he keeps "forgetting" do simplest things (putting leftovers in the fridge, placing dishes in dishwasher, etc) CONT

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Stop doing the work for him he’s not a child. He’ll notice the things he’s left out sooner or later and have to tend to himself.

Also suggest getting out of the house more even if it’s just to take a walk.

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Same thought here. If you leave your plate on the table then it will stay there until you come back. Or... Get a jar and get him to put $10 every time he "forgets" something, if it is really that sporadical then it should be no problem

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You may or may not have kids, but I found the book “how not to hate your husband after kids” to be a useful resource regardless. (I did not have kids when I first read the book, weirdly)

One incredibly annoying but effective tactic is slightly over the top praise every time he DOES do something helpful. It feels infantile but can help build better habits via positive reinforcement, rather than arguments.

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lol 😂 defn do this especially for stuff he does without me having to ask

CONT This is driving me nuts!
We already have had a few big discussions about this problem and everytime he says it's not on purpose, and it happens once in a while. I know I shouldn't be so upset about something so stupid but I can't take it when I spent 100% of my time in a fucking house. And I know that I caused part of the problem by taking over some of the responsibilities and only reason I did that was because we are also going through a renovation in our house. And I just wanted us to focus on those big renovation stuff in the weekend. We already had the same fight at least four times by now and he is not changing. Any suggestions how I can make it clear to him that this is not ok?? Ughhhhhhh, I do love him but right now, I hate him as a roommate.

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Maybe (if you havent already) when you have the next conversation you can give very specific examples where it wasnt “every once in a while”, mention how you are in the house all the time so cleanliness is needed for your sanity and you need a partner in that, and most importantly tell him that this is becoming a very serious issue for you and your relationship. If i told my husband something was very important for us to maintain a happy and healthy relationship, he would make the change for me immediately. That willingness to respect the communication and actually change for each other when needed (esp behaviorally) is so important in a relationship . If you dont have kids but plan to, just know that the household and life maintenance triples w kids and you do not want to deal with any of this shit when they do come.

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Girl, same. I’m trying to set boundaries, but as the person who cares more about the house being clean... the dynamic endures.

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