I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong. The new guy I like expressed interest in me and I've done nothing but be nice to him! I've offered to drive him places, pay for his meals, and even clean his apartment. He said he'd only consider someone who is a "team player". Now, he won't answer my texts. I am so confused...?

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Ok not sure what the context is about the team player part but offering all of those things seems a bit much. How long have you been together

like

If a man like you he will do things for you.. not the other way around. I think you should move on.

like

This is NOT the way to get to know someone, nor will it make him like you if he doesn’t already. I would stop offering these acts of service so early in a dating situation — you’re a potential partner, not his chauffeur, sugar mama, or housekeeper.

like

Yeah maybe I am missing context, but getting very (and I hate these terms) “pick me girl” vibes. I can understand someone having a very nurturing personality, but the other person has to be into that, and I like to cook for my dates, but cleaning someone’s apartment 😬 a little too much!

like

I think this sets the wrong precedent. If this is established as a baseline early on, it’s likely he will expect you to take care of these things for him on a continuous basis.

I think establishing the kind of dynamic you want early on is important. For me, that’s equal division of the tasks you mentioned if we live together and each person doing their own thing if we do not.

Definitely missing some context here but he might have taken advantage of you a bit here and then lost interest when you were v willing to do anything :/

like

Men want a challenge and a chase. You're available all the time. He can have you at any time. I bet the minute you leave him he will come back. It's stupid and silly but that does happen. They need the thrill.

like

Are/were you two in a defined relationship? He sounds like he is not interested in moving this along further. I’m sorry. I have been in this situation myself.

like

This post… can’t be real, right?

like

That sounds like the setup for a toxic relationship. Doesn’t sound like you’re officially in a relationship yet, why would you be offering all this?

like

OP reading your post, all the things you have said you are doing is the problem. You’re doing too much for someone who doesn’t want it. That’s off putting. Find someone who feels the same as you and just let the relationship happen naturally. No need to do everything for them.

like

M here. I think you said it, maybe being “nice to him” was not what he was looking for. We M are weird; I’d do the opposite and maybe he will chase you 🤔

Don’t do this for the next guy to sail through better

This isn't a balanced relationship. Nor does it support the equality and respect / healthy boundaries you'd need for a long term relationship.

Sure if you are into the 50s atomic unit relationship what you are doing I spot on; but it doesn't sound like that's what he wants. Step away make yourself unavailable; focus on YOU and your happiness.

Related Posts

Was this post a humble brag about sleeping with two women of “stunning beauty, high intelligence and bla bla bla” or about AI? Bruh….

Post Photo
likefunny

Is there such a thing as over texting the person you like?

like

Met a guy on Grindr who was visiting my city for the week. We had dinner Friday night. Met up again Sat afternoon and spent a full 24 hours together. Enough in common to keep the conversation going, not get on my nerves, and enough chemistry to be attracted too. Is the next step plan a trip and hang out again for a day or two? I acknowledge jumping to anything more serious than travel buddies would be challenging and unlikely given the distance. Thoughts?

like

Any female fish want to hang out tonight? ☺️

like

New to fish bowl and moving to NYC soon. Has anyone had success posting here asking if any F wants to grab a drink?

like

Any female 🐠 want to meet up for HH tonight?

funny

Do singles in their 30s still go out in LES?

like

Has anyone else ever dated a coworker?

like

Good places to grab a drink solo? Im a 25yo woman.

like

Any single girls in Bangalore?

like

How long should you wait to sleep with a guy if you want to be taken seriously and respected

likehelpful

Young 20s guys looking for a Roomi?

like

25M banglore .. anyone interested do ping

How do you feel about a girl asking for $200-500 gifts after only 1- 2 dates ? Is this normal and acceptable behavior ?

funnylike

Hey Guys, welcome to the group. let's get the conversation started. You never know who like your thoughts and get a direct message 🙂

What do you guys think would be your dream date be like? Where would you like it to spend?

like

Moving to New York from Vancouver (CA). Looking for places to make new friends and meet other singles. Any suggestions for places in NYC? I’m single, 25, M, software sales

like

25 F 🐠 anyone free for a drink in midtown?

Any tips on dating for me, someone really not pretty and doesn't have a nice body?

likehelpful

Noticed that some women here are way too comfortable touching people they don’t know on the street. Just because I’m a man does not mean you can put your hands on me or do things that would get you punched in the face if you weren’t a woman.

like

Sigh. Do 5 things right and get stuffed by the partner on the 1 thing. Feeling like crap, despondent because this guy clearly hates me now and I was trying to prove myself on this matter. Down the toilet and into the shitter here we go

like

More Posts

Has anyone have reviews on hitachi vantara for Sap domain?

like

Need 11 likes for DM, thanks for your help!!

like

Sorry if this is asked before: I have been using my schools tax software for international students for filing my taxes but have to use something else this time. Do you have any suggestions on which?

My younger brother is jobless please find his resume he has 10 years experience of sales and marketing of banking sector .

Post Photo
like

Hi Fishes I Have an offer from UST or HCl which one is better to join.UST providing wfo or wfh or hybrid

like

Advise needed: Is is inappropriate to ask a coworker to give your boss feedback on how smoothly a production went? More context below..

like

Hi! Anyone work at Apple London and open to referring me? Happy to chat further!

like

1. Want to know about Data engineer interview process in Walmart global tech India?
2. Which Cloud platform they use in their project ( AWS or Azure)
3. Do they use Azure, databricks,Azure data factory?
4. what type of questions can I expect in technical interview?can you share topics if you recently given interview or work as a data engineer there, please comment

like

Lately I have read a lot about automation and/or outsourcing of administrative work.

Do you see this happening at your firm soon? How close?

like

Hey folks,
Need few likes to gain access to the DM feature. Appreciate your help :)
Thanks.

like
like

How to know if the BGV has completed successfully? I have submitted my documents 2 weeks back, haven't heard back yet from anyone.

like

Was this post a humble brag about sleeping with two women of “stunning beauty, high intelligence and bla bla bla” or about AI? Bruh….

Post Photo
likefunny

Can anyone explain meal & rest breaks for California non-exempt and exempt?

like

If you were made CEO of your firm for a day, what one thing would you change?

like

Has anyone had experience dealing with the NYS CPA board in determining what is missing from your application? Any contacts or info would be much appreciated.

For context, I passed all 4 parts of the exam a little over a year ago but only had ~6months of work experience so couldn’t get licensed. I submitted my application and paid the fee along with submitting the signed off form 4b for the 6 months of experience I had. I want to complete the application now but not sure what’s missing.

likehelpful
like

PwC Deloitte KPMG EY

Post Photo
like

Best additions to your WFH setup? Standing desk, headphones, keyboard / mouse, etc. I’m back to working from home for foreseeable future…

like

Additional Posts in Relationships

After reading a lot of posts and threads on this app, I can’t believe how many men get into relationships that are pretty much dependent on how much money they make and the lifestyle they could provide. My girlfriend is nothing like this and I couldn’t love her more. Love shouldn’t be contingent on terms and conditions like income and lifestyle.

like

Gore Mountain season pass holders please let me join on your pass, I will pay a lot. Dec 28-1, tix are closed and I’m desperate .

like

Anyone ever consulted relationship psychics before? Is it helpful?

like

12 years and my partner won't do chores. Vent vent vent. I make 80% of our income and pay 80% of expenses. I'm also tidy but hate cleaning. Partner works 20-30 hours/ week no kids and is a slob. 3 months ago made chore list, got them to sign on the list the 50/50 split that it was fair. 3 months later I've been doing my chores they haven't done any. Brought it up today and was accused that the list was unfair they refuse and they dont have time because they must "work to subsidize your expenses"

like

What do you do to build and maintain attraction with your partner?

like

My sister’s boyfriend will post Instagram stories with him getting 1:1 cocktails or coffee with other girls. I’ve seen this three times in the past 3-4 months. Would you say anything to your sibling? i don’t want to say anything since I think she’d react with denial that it’s weird

If you found out that your MIL said some really hurtful things about your spouse to a member of your family, would you tell your spouse? I realize it will hurt my wife and damage their relationship, but I also think she should know. I don't typically keep things from her.

like

Engaged/married women, how much does your spouse financially support you? We’ve been in a pretty equitable split based on income.

like

My bf and I call each other everytime we have free time. However lately he seems disinterested in phone time. He never initiates calls anymore and he tells me he wants to hang up in the middle of the day and not right before bedtime. We live 4 hour apart. And agreed this is like living together from a distance, because I put him on the house speakers. What can I do to keep him engaged?

like

Have you ever not attended a wedding because you disagree with the couple's life choices/direction? Good friends of ours are getting married in a few weeks and my husband doesn't want to attend. We've been friends w them for almost 10 years, but have drifted recently bc they are still partying way harder than us. We all met in nightlife, but my husband and I are basically sober at this point, while they still drink and do hard drugs every weekend.

Nonetheless, I still think they're good people

like

At my uncles wedding in Madrid I remember lying down on the grass in the courtyard after their first dance and crying, my Dad came and saw me, laid down in his suit beside me and asked what was wrong.

“I know my boyfriend wouldn’t dance with me like that at our wedding”

And we just lay there as I cried, and then got up. Had a drink.

Said boyfriend left years ago, and now I have a wonderful man who just asked me what type of dance lessons I want for our wedding next year.

Don’t give up.

likeupliftingfunny

Ladies, what would you do if you find out your boyfriend/husband has attempted to cheat on you? (Hypothetical question)

Someone you love. How extreme would you go?

like

Does your partners body count bother you? Don’t know my partners body count and she doesn’t know mine… kinda been a don’t ask don’t tell situation between us