I dated an orthopedic surgeon who makes over $500k a year. When he was a fellow, he borrowed a large sum of money from me. Although I was not comfortable lending that much, I felt bad for his situation and helped him. Two years have passed and he refused to pay me back the full amount. I showed him the evidence of the check I wrote him, and the Venmo records of our transactions. His response? “I don’t remember. Your memory is wrong so I’m not paying you more!” Wow just wow! I cannot believe

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I feel like unfortunately this is just one of lessons-learned moments. I had mine and no longer lend anyone money, but I have gifted money. How are you still on friendly terms with someone like this?!

likesmart

If you have proof he said he would pay you back and it wasn’t a gift because believe me he will say that once you take him to court

Girl, time to get an attorney. You’ll want to send a demand letter and follow with a civil suit. If it appears he intended to defraud you, meaning he agreed to borrow with the intention of paying back but then never did, you can get treble damages.

Here’s the thing, you need an attorney to navigate this. Most primary residences are exempt properties from debt collection. In some states, you can’t attach to wages. You need a lawyer who understands your specific state’s laws, statute of limitations, and what actions can be taken. You can get a judgment but never be able to collect on it. I had to get a judgment, then have the court put my ex in receivership. There are lots and lots of laws to protect individuals from debt collection. You really need an attorney to help you manage this deadbeat.

Sorry, OP. What I have learned is to never give or loan more than I’m willing to walk away from. A bought lesson is a taught lesson.

likesmart

Yeah, LegalShield is a cost effective way to do this.

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Take him to small claims court

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Sounds like the amt is too big for small claims but I like where you are going with this - she needs to consult an attorney

Do you have it in writing that he will pay you back / this was a loan? If so, you may have grounds to sue

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How much are we talking here? Will be hard to get that money back without a written contract or even email / text agreement of some sort.

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Depending on amount he should’ve paid gift tax if he didn’t consider it a loan…

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…that someone can act like this, especially for someone who likes to remind me how much more money he makes than me. I just can’t believe, if you have the means to pay me back, why act this way? We are mostly on friendly terms but whenever I bring up the money he still owes me, he acts like I’m being unreasonable.

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I don’t understand why you would want to be friendly with someone who took your money and gaslights you when you try to hold them accountable. That said, until you get your money back, you may want to stay on friendly terms. I’m doing this with my ex and we are about to depose him and file for an unpaid judgment. Get an attorney. This guy doesn’t respect you, but an attorney can tell you what information to collect to maximize your chances of being repaid.

How much did you loan him? The reason I ask is certain courts handle different amounts of money. It also depends on if you both live in the same state. Otherwise the venue can be federal and you’re dealing with federal courts.

likesmart

I hope you get your $$ back but it sure sounds like you dodged a bullet. Imagine marrying someone like that!

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How large?

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Do you have anything in writing about the arrangement was? I don’t know what large sum means? 20k ??? If you have something in writing goto court

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If you have an agreement that he’d pay you back, take him to court. Verbal agreements are legal, but can be hard to prove. If you don’t have a lawyer or don’t want to pay a ton in fees, join LegalShield and get one of their lawyers to send a letter to him first, see if that scares him into paying you back before dealing with court stuff.

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tinder swindler*

helpful

So sorry for you!

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Take him to court

How much are we talking OP? Sounds like a big lesson learned

Depending on how much money he still owes you and if you have enough proof to back up your case, You should take him to court. You atleast gather all of your “evidence” and sit down with an attorney to discuss and see if you would have a chance at winning.

Ewwww I’m sorry you are dealing with this OP that is pretty gross of him. Is he usually a douche?

Thank you everyone for your support, kind words and empathy! He has paid me back most of what he owes over a prolonged period with just $1050 left. I have decided not invest anymore in suing him because it’s emotionally exhausting to deal with his denial and illogical behavior. Also because he had enough problems with the law, with his addiction and I do have a tiny bit of sympathy left for him. His behavior now is no longer rational (currently claiming that I owe him money based on some illogical way of calculation) and makes me believe he’s back on recreational use of prescription pain killers. I hope things will get better for me from here and that I will one day forgive my own stupidity!

Some people don’t deserve sympathy like this person. He’s clearly doesn’t give a damn about you so why should you? Get your money back and then cut ties with him. He’s an adult and he should take responsibility for his actions.

uplifting

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