I did not have a good retrieval and I’m having a hard time processing. This cycle took so much out of me, I don’t know if I can do it again. I just want to cry.

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I hear you OP. Went through this before Xmas and to recover from shock I did take 2 weeks off, turned off my laptop and switched off the phone with no access no social media. I then surrounded myself with my family - parents and siblings and celebrated Xmas the best way I could. I regained strength and I think I will try again soon. I need to run tests and meet with the doctor to talk about suitable protocol but I’ll do it one step at a time

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Let yourself have the time to process it fully. No judgement. Ugly cry, scream at the ocean, eat your favorite meal and pamper yourself, drink a bottle of wine. I went through all 5 stages of grief really. Do what you need to do to take care of your physical and mental needs. If/ when you reach acceptance, or you catch yourself thinking ‘what if... I tried again... what if... I got pregnant’, then post here again for some motivation/ insights. Until then, take care of you, and be kind to you, you’ve been through a lot.

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I’m so sorry. My first attempts have never worked, and we had another ectopic pregnancy. I can’t describe for others who haven’t been through it exactly how hard that is. You control the pace and don’t have to jump right back in. Seeing a counselor has helped my husband and I as we’re back at it for Baby #2. It’s made a big difference already as we grieved the most recent IVF fail.

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I went through this in the fall. I was totally unprepared to have the cycle fail. We have taken a six month break and will try again in a couple months. I don’t have any great words of wisdom except that it took a few months to even think about starting over and now I’m feeling good about the next try...

I’m so sorry :( agree with all the other advice; take a mental break from the process and then decide when/if you want to try again. I also faced this when I went in for my first retrieval I had no eggs because the trigger didn’t work for whatever reason and I was devastated. I went in again two days later for another retrieval and it worked luckily but I really wanted to give up entirely. Not the exact same situation but what made me try again was that I came this far and the second time I knew what to expect and felt much better prepared. I hope this works out for you in the end - take care OP!

Also it’s ok to cry!!! You’ve been through a lot just let all the emotions out!

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I think this group has high “performance” expectations with everything we do. And this is not performance related, and under little of our control. I also was not prepared for a “failed” cycle and was devastated. Take some time to focus on you and not “the process”.

Totally agree. I feel like I fail every month we weren’t able to conceive naturally. I know logically this is not failing but it feels like it. Having an unsuccessful IVF felt like failing and loss all at the same time...

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