{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I don’t have a tribe, but I’d like to have one. This lifestyle, pre-Covid anyway did a number on my social life. Maybe I watch too much tv but how are people finding their girlfriends? 😭 for reference I’m 26!", "post_id": "603d426a7ae82900223184c9", "reply_count": 23, "vote_count": 13, "bowl_id": "5a162e1d9a422f001920c5ba", "bowl_name": "Black Girl Magic ✨💫" }

I don’t have a tribe, but I’d like to have one. This lifestyle, pre-Covid anyway did a number on my social life. Maybe I watch too much tv but how are people finding their girlfriends? 😭 for reference I’m 26!

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Is it very important to you to be in a friend group? I have three best friends who all came to me in different phases of life (childhood, college, and postgrad). They literally make my life full and happy, but they’re three individual relationships - we’re not a group (in fact they’ve never met each other!). I feel like the pursuit of a squad is something that a lot of women want but I think if you have a supportive, reciprocal positive relationship with even one person then you’re in a good spot. To answer your question though, making friends does become so much harder as an adult just because you meet people less - we’re all at work all day.

likesmart

I have these individual relationships with my closest friends, maybe 2-3 but would like to have a group! That’s exactly right, we’re at work all the time with limited time to meet new people.

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I want a squad too! I’m 25 about to be 26. What city are you in?

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I’m in DC currently! Originally from Atlanta, let’s DM!

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I would suggest trying a black professionals group on Meetup or maybe even BumbleBFF. Great way to meet others who might be new to the city or just looking for friends. I actually met one of my now best friends and our crew through a meetup group. I already had two college best friends and our college friend group but they all lived in a diff city so it was nice to make a new group of friends to hang out with locally and go to events, catch up on the latest gossip, support each other professionally, etc.

likehelpful

I’ve tried bumble BFF and I’ve met maybe 2 people I think. May retry it again!

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I’ve told myself that the only viable ways to make friends at this stage is if I land a new job(and we go back to in person work), if I have kids (😖) , get married (😒), or enroll in grad school. The older we get it seems as though people are pretty settled with their friend groups. A lot of it is because they know meeting new people is pretty daunting. I’m definitely hopeful for new friends, but right now I guess I have to chill with the 3 I have lol.

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If you plan a virtual HH, I’m in 🙋🏾‍♀️🙋🏾‍♀️

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Same!! Did you all plan the HH?? I’m definitely down for that!

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Haven’t planned one yet but I can DM everyone to get availability to set one up! 😊

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Since UG I’ve made few new friends but I made them through groups I joined. I’ve personally stayed away from befriending coworkers but I do have a few that I still keep in contact with. When I moved to Boston, I joined the urban league and a dance company and made friends that way. I also had UG friends in Boston. When I relocated back home to Austin I joined the black grad association at UT and made friends that way. When I settled in Houston I joined Urban League again and I sat on the board, I made a lot of friends here and there are a good number I still keep in touch with. Each time I move I join a group to get acclimated with the city. I’ve been in Junior League in 3 different cities and always look for organizations where I can volunteer (Dress for Success, Junior Achievement, etc.) that’s a great way to meet people. Additionally, you could join different clubs (golf, tennis) and meet new people that way. Have fun.

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I use the term “friends” pretty Willy nilly, for the most part these are associates I socialize with. My main friends are from UG and now grad school. Friends are expensive so I don’t want a lot. 😭😭😭 but because of the community work I do I have different connections and get invited places to hang out when we’re not in the middle of a pon de replay.

I’m down too!

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update y’all: things have gotten busy so I forgot to circle back here to setup the virtual hh — but I did meet someone on this thread in-person for coffee last weekend and it was absolutely great!! If you still wanted to join one, pls like this message and I will DM today! And if you’re in DC, hey sis!!!

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Oh yes definitely!

Think about the values you want this group of women to have. The kinds of things you want to do with them. Then go out and meet them in places where you think they’d be and invite them to do something. Quick way to friendship is adding value or appealing to their wants and needs.

When you find out, let me know!

I’m down!

I’m down as well I’ve recently graduated during COVID so moving and not having my set friend group like I use has taken a bigger toll on me than I expected I’m only 22 so Ik it’s not the end of world but I’d definitely like to find my tribe

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