I don’t have many friends and I don’t have a best friend.. this really weighs on me. I moved around my whole childhood, had a short studying-filled college experience and as soon as I started working COVID hit. I feel really alone and I’m not sure what to do, everyone around me seems to have lots of long lasting friendships. I had a couple close friends who ended up being very poor friends so I cut them off.. at this point I’m not sure if I even know how to be a friend or how to make one.

likeuplifting
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COVID is extremely isolating for many, many people right now, myself included. I’m sorry you are feeling this way, you are not alone in these feelings if that’s any consolation. I went abroad as an expat for several years during my 20s and missed a lot of local friend making years in there, so I empathize a bit with your struggles.

I’m sure you know how to be a friend, though. Don’t doubt the warmth and energy in your heart.

likeuplifting

You are so sweet, my heart is with you too. I was also an expat during my childhood!

Bumble BFF helped a ton with this. Also, look at your past and make sure you are selecting bad friends based on conditioning

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I was abused and mistreated growing up, so I have the tendency to search for people who do the same bc it’s what I’m used to. Not saying that’s a problem for you, per say, but past habits do carry through to who you make friends with

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Your story sounds super similar to mine honestly. Except I was homeschooling. But I've had to cut people out recently myself. Feel free to message me! I was just mentioning to my husband that I really want another friend

likehelpful

I’m in the same boat. Where do you live?

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I never moved as a child - how many friends from high school or below do I talk to? One. I also had to cut people out of my life over the years for exactly the reasons you stated, and although it made me sad, it was the right thing to do because they weren't really friends anymore, just people I knew who expected me to bend over backwards for them without being there for me when I needed a friend.

I know it's really hard, but you WILL make new friends, you do know how, and the fact that you're worried about being a good friend tells me you definitely know how to be a good friend. As adults, our opportunities to make new friends are more limited, but in addition to co-workers, assuming you can do this safely, look for hobbies that will let you meet new people or volunteer for something important to you. This way, you know you've already got something in common with the people you'll meet.

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Where do you live?

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Florida :) you?

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I feel you on this- you are definitely not alone.

likeuplifting

This post spoke to me. I have been feeling so down about this same thing. It’s nice to feel I’m not alone. OP, you are definitely not alone

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Your story is very similar to mine. I know it gets really hard somedays. I was in a very depressive dark place in the earlier months of covid. Don’t worry, you will get the chance to meet people and make friends, but be prepared to be their 2nd or 3rd choice friend. Be prepared to be not be in the group and rather in the orbit of the group. It hurts sometimes but it isn’t too bad. I am just focusing on growing the friendships I did manage to make.

One tip I will give though, be honest about it. If you know someone you want to be friends with, open up to them. I normally would say “I just moved here and don’t really have any friends” they were more likely to invite me and introduce me to people. Also get in touch with other alumni in your work city. It took me a while but I am friends with some of them now.

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