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Last year I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder after I had my first manic episode. Truly crazy time in my life. Ended up in the pysch ward then landed in group therapy.
In group, we did an exercise where we had to write out what we believe our identity is. I was the only lawyer in the room. Naturally, I said lawyer. And I couldn’t think of anything else. I guy in the room raises his hand and says, are you crazy? Is that all you can think of yourself as? I’ve known you for two days and I can tell you this: You’re a husband, a son, you’re kind, caring, athletic, selfless, etc.
We need to do a better job of realizing that our job is not who we are, it’s actually only a small part of us.
I’ll just say this as well, I’m not sure what your career goals are. If it’s partner that’s fine. But I see that you’re an associate like me. Just remember, you can’t make partner until you’re a seventh year associate. You can make it there with 2k hours, assuming you’re at a defense firm. You don’t have to say yes to everything even though it feels like it. It’s okay to let someone more junior than you jump on something that you feel you should be resining your hand for to advance your career. It’s okay to our up boundaries. It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to say, I can’t do this now, I can do it later. It’s okay to get slow and enjoy it and not worry what the powers at be will think or if you will get more work. And it’s okay to tell some white lies to get the rest and space you need.
You can do all the above and make partner. Assuming that’s not your goal, well, you should be doing way more to keep your balance.
Couldn’t agree more. Happiness and health above all.
Thank you. Needed to hear it today.
Really needed to hear this today/this week. Thanks for the reminder!
Really needed this today, burst into tears feeling so shitty about myself and just wanted to give notice. Then I took a nap and told myself “fuck it”. We are more than these jobs!
Really needed to see this, thank you!
Really needed to see this today. Thank you for posting and sending good vibes and well wishes to everyone!
Really needed to hear this. I’m having an issue with a coworker and my boss won’t do anything about it. I’m so frustrated and it’s starting to effect my work. I really needed to hear this message cause I’m not putting up with the toxicity at my job anymore.
I keep reminding myself of this but it's really hard to convince myself when my job is really all that matters to me right now. Like I've worked my entire life to get at this point and I'm not gonna risk any setback no matter what 😔
Good share, and we all can stand the reminding. We all need to make the gig work for ourselves and for our loved ones. Balance can be very difficult, but it is also crucial. The work is demanding, but we are all fortunate to have these choices, however difficult they may be. Far worse — to me, anyway, and I’m hunching that most of us agree — to be stuck in a job that’s boring, pays badly and goes nowhere. Any of those three might be at least a bit true at any particular time but, if we do it right, truly believe that none of those three should stay true over time.
This was really not what I needed after the past two weeks. Thank you for sharing and reminding everyone!