{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I don’t understand how some men doing well in their consulting jobs seem socially inept particularly when it comes to dating/relationships. I assume that someone with ‘client hands’ would know how to communicate with and handle a woman he likes. And I’m talking about fully grown men (30+).. Am I wrong to assume this?", "post_id": "60deb7a3e97f9f0022b7e56e", "reply_count": 23, "vote_count": 20, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting", "feed_type": "crowd" }

I don’t understand how some men doing well in their consulting jobs seem socially inept particularly when it comes to dating/relationships. I assume that someone with ‘client hands’ would know how to communicate with and handle a woman he likes. And I’m talking about fully grown men (30+).. Am I wrong to assume this?

likefunnyhelpful
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Might be easier if you role played as a client?

likefunnyhelpful

Having unrealistic expectations and constantly demanding an extended scope of work? It seems like someone has already been using that strategy 🤔

likefunny

Client issues are more politics. Relationship issues are feelings. Different skills. Also, consultants in general are very very insecure,they work really hard to hide it professionally, but you can’t really show up to a date with a deck (or can you?!?!).

likefunnyhelpful

It’s interesting, because I agree with you that this is how many become successful in consulting, but for me and some others I see there is actually a huge emphasis on social skills. A huge part of what I do in my consulting role is facilitate agreement and improvement of working relationships between client teams. I have been specifically requested to take over high profile projects (including some that are very technical) by clients because their teams are not working well together and they trust I will figure out how to both get the work done and make everyone feel better/be nicer to each other. This skill set has been a huge huge asset to my consulting career, but is fundamentally a social skill set that I have leveraged to be a great friend and a great date. I landed a husband who is so amazing and vaguely out of my league, and probably due to some of these social skills I honed at work. But, I see a lot of men (I am a woman) around me going about this a really different way and do not care as much about how the client feels as long as they have the relationships they need to make future sales. I don’t think either way is really better for the job, but I think my skills are better for a happy life.

like

Nope we just dumb

likefunnysmart

I’m an introvert. I’m willing to put on a show for work/clients, but I find it exhausting and genuinely don’t want to do that when dating. Not because I don’t want to put any effort into dating, but because I want to be authentically myself from the get-go when dating. And it’s OK if the other person doesn’t like that version of me — better to find out sooner than later. Not suggesting introverts are all socially inept, but on some dates I do sometimes find it hard to keep the conversation going.

likeupliftinghelpful

No offense, but it takes very little effort to impress a client compared to a date.

likefunny

You can’t compare the 2 really. I mean at the end of the day, some women and clients are similar in some sense as they’re not being direct about what they want, communicate one thing, yet expect something different. It works both ways usually. Also social world is so different from professional world. There are more dimensions and “feelings” involved.

likefunny

How about you role plan as the client? It would be a fantasy!! Win-win

funnylike

I hope this wasn't a sarcastic post. Since when did we start analyzing someone's life+ skills based on work-skills? 😵

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Uh, client work has *absolutely nothing* to do with the dating world... 😬

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Op, Very good points . I have seen this in real life . For consulting, you go to school, you learn , you do internships, entry level jobs, you learn more …. It’s a team effort. No one teaches you dating in school, you are on your own . Some people are not capable to build capabilities to interact.

likefunny

I work in Cyber Security in a small engineering focused firm so even if I do well in a client facing role I just never meet single women and am terrible about going out to meet people outside of work.

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You’re making the assumption that he likes you

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Think there is definitely some correlation between high performers in consulting and people who are good on dates. However, not a 1:1 skill overlap so also not surprising that some high performers in one area might be medium-low performers in another. See the relation sort like if you are a good basketball player, chances are that you are at least also a halfway decent football player, but there are no guarantees - you might suck on a football field, just as some high performers in consulting might suck on dates

like

Personal relationships are not the same as work/business transactions...

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You sound like the steerco member that won't say what they want, assume the consultant should just know. The problem might not be the guys.

funny

Pls fix

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Well… here the similarities in consulting and dating : you have specialties and offerings . If your clients like your work, you get more work and get promoted. if your offerings in dating profile matches your actual performance, you get lucky and have lots of happy times 🤣😂. If your performance sucks , you are out …. Almost like up and out in consulting . In consulting, your firm profile helps to land a client . In dating life not so much . Your individual communication skills, your physical and emotional capabilities matter more in dating.

funny

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Not crashing anymore.

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Top top post!

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