I feel like crying. But i cant. Ive failed so many times it seems like, but i just have to keep going to pay my rent. Im sick of all the aggressiveness and two faced personas. Help

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Sorry you are feeling all this. Find a therapist, it is worth the money to talk to someone about it. I find it takes a little time to get a therapist to understand our industry, but when they get it they can be really helpful. Giving up is not an option and no industry is full of perfect people. Yes this business has MORE than its fair share of butt holes, but don’t let them get to you. Winston Churchill said “when you are going through hell, keep going.” You will get past this.

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I'm sorry too. It's frustrating and crazy making. Get a book on resilience to train your mind and the therapist. You can't keep that in

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It sounds like you are in a toxic place. I know how that is. You’re not failing. They’re just assholes. It’s like a bad relationship. You’re not going to change these people, you just have to leave. Sometimes all it takes is one sociopath to ruin an entire, previously happy team. I experienced this after 3 years loving my job. Then this toxic account bitch hated me and ended up befriending my boss. I had to go. Look for a new job. F these people. It’s not you. Imagine going to work with genuinely nice people and actually feeling good. Trust me, it’s possible. Get outta there.

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Every job i’ve had in NYC has been toxic. I don’t want to move, i just need to find the right fit. I’m juggling a career transition at 38 and have financial instability mixed with having to be vulnerable all over again. What strength and reputation I once had is gone. Starting over in NYC is exhausting. Tired of hearing “overqualified” .

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Moving costs money. That i don’t have until i find work.

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Wow, are you me? I’m a few years older than you but have had the exact same experiences. Tonight I got home from work and just cried my eyes out to my spouse. I don’t know there’s a right fit in New York for anyone who’s remotely sensitive or aware. We are moving by the end of the year, I have to get out of here before it destroys me completely. The worst part for me is that I’m sensitive and pick up in everything, and then I become the scapegoat. It’s a pattern I’m aware of so I try to do it differently, but I just don’t have the energy to fight anymore. It’s so painful, and inhuman. Hang in there, message me if you’d like

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