I feel like I’m constantly getting my boundaries challenged by my parents. I had to come out over and over again because they live in a very conservative country and doesn’t believe that LGBT ppl exist. I tried to set my boundaries with them and sometimes they would back down and tell me to do whatever makes me happy, then a couple months later they would pressure me to get a husband and even told me them would ask around for favors. This keeps happening again and again and each time I feel like

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

I don’t have concrete advice for you as I am going through a similar situation but just wanted to say I am so sorry you are going through this, it’s incredibly difficult and I don’t know you but I know you don’t deserve to deal with this ♥️ Sometimes those conservative thought patterns are just too engrained to fully break and it sucks.

like

Well this sucks and I'm sorry.

Can I say something on the bright side? Considering their nationality, the reactions could be far worse -your parents sound misguided, hopeful, desperate, dense, but also loving and themselves are probably in some level of pain as they hunger to stay close to you.

Not excusing the constant attempts to straighten you up but I would consider it a blessing as compared to the hatred and anger and nastiness that some other parents of a similar background might throw at you.

Take comfort, or temper your frustrations, with some pity for them? There's only so much we can expect of people when they are immersed in a certain kind of culture their entire lives.

like

That’s very true. Thank you

uplifting

Cont. I made progress with them l, they hit me back again. I love them and miss them dearly, but I feel like they can never accept me as I am. And I’m too tired of having to go through these emotional rollercoaster all the time. For context, I used to stopped talking to them for months and they came back and told me they will accept whatever (which is just a desperate move I think).

I’m sorry you are going through this. Glad you are hold your ground and not succumbing to their archaic views and frustrating behaviors. Out of curiosity - where are your folks from/where are they living? The context may help me and/or others provide more specific advice in case you are looking for advice. No worries if not - venting in itself can also be cathartic.

Got it, have you searched for resources for parents of LGBTQ+ kids in China and/or close to where your parents live? I know there are orgs that help parents understand / support their LGBTQ+ children in India and imagine there may be similar ones in China as well.

I think it just takes time and the realization that they’ll never be perfect. You should continue to stand firm with who you are and defend your non-negotiable boundaries. For example, I’ll privately correct my mom if she doesn’t introduce my husband as such. But if she goes on some abstract rant about how boys should be boys and girls should be girls, I’ll probably ignore the bait and change the topic.

My family came to Canada from China when I was a teenager 11 years ago. I came out to them so many times that I eventually just gave up. It’s like a taboo to discuss my personal life. I have a partner but they refer him as my roommate. 😂 anyways you just need to find a balance on what they can accept and what you can accept how they act around you.

Related Posts

How do I get added to the Google bowl? FB wants me to be added to the Google India bowl but I am in the Bay Area Google

like

Need 12 likes

likeuplifting

Anyone know how much I can expect to pay to put a small tiny house on land zoned for multi family in central Florida? Doable for under 50k? Goal is to rent it out

like

My office recently offered incentives to all applicants but one, who happen to be a racial minority. All others are white male. I know all are qualified. Should I report this to D&I? It’s a bad look.

likefunny

What laptop do people recommend getting?

I calculated what I thought would be my W-2 earnings and withholdings for the year in early January to ensure I didn’t need to make an estimate by 1/15. This was based on my Y/E paystub. W-2 earnings show 2k off from my calc but w/h and everything else lines up to their number. My guess is they’re not including some pre tax ded but of course there’s no detail on how they get their Box 1 amount. Who do I contact? Anyone have a number they’ve used? Thanks.

like

Anyone have international hotel codes? I can only find info on Marriott, Hyatt and Hilton. TYIA

like

Where is the best place to watch NFL Sunday in NYC right now? need to find a place with multiple screens, good beer and food...

like

What is the point of IT audit besides fulfilling arbitrary rules that keep changing?

likefunny

Recommendations for full size check-in luggage (gift for SM friend; so looks/brand matter)?
I’ve seen posts for carry ones and back-packs, wasn’t sure if the same reccos applied to full size.

Does anyone live in Tracy/Mountain House area and can tell me how you like it ? We are trying to buy a house and contemplating moving Far East.

likefunny

I was told that I was the chosen candidate for a new role that I applied for which will be promotion, I just recently received my offer and was surprised and decided to start negotiating. My boss immediately said that this is offer, either take it or lose it and no negotiating, and was only given a day to decide whether I want it or not, so he repost the position, and was also told that I was going about it the wrong way for trying to negotiate, Is this wrong of me to negotiate?

like

Hi Guys , Please share you SAP journey .
How you started ?
Module ?
How you prepared ?
Where were you and where are you now ?
Start and Current CTC ?

like

Hello All!

I am a graduate of Suffolk University, and I recently received my masters in Business Analytics. I am currently pursuing a career as an IT Business Analyst at MSU Denver, which I have the 30min first round interview scheduled for Tuesday, November 29th.

If anyone is or was previously employed as an analyst at MSU Denver, would you mind providing some insight into the culture, the interview process, salary information, etc. I would truly appreciate any help as this is a role I want

like

Which Big 4 is best by work wise.

like

As a SAP functional consultant, which company is better to join considering Work life balance and projects (s/4 HANA implementation)? PwC India or Accenture
I have offer in both the organization where pwc offers 1L more than Accenture.

like

Hey Fishes, How much hike can i expect when i am being promoted from a GCB 7 to 6? My Current package is 10.50 and YoE 9 yrs

like

Have a good day everyone!

like

Chickpeas curry with Kulcha. Kulcha is leavened(or unleavened) Indian flat bread. This is leavened version.

Post Photo
like

Additional Posts in LGBTQIA+ 🐠

Hey! I've been chilling in quarantine, in solitude since we went remote. Does anyone want to go on a social-distance date type of thing?

I'm a black 22yr old Corporate papi (aka consultant lol), who likes going on walks, watching movies, and is probably in boxers 97% of the time. Chill guy, good vibes, allergic to cats, very anti-drama, favorite colour is crimson and pineapples do not belong on pizza. Also polyamorous, pansexual & pretty single

Feel free to comment below or shoot me a message!

like

Need advice.
I’ve met several friends through tinder, grindr, hinge. Strictly platonic friendships now. Have a boyfriend of 2 years who isn’t happy. Am I in the wrong for having those friends?

like

Anyone else feel very lonely all the time? I feel like it adds to my general exhaustion 😞. Hard to find people who want to genuinely hang out before doing the deed.

like

Got stood up by a fellow consultant on my birthday. Changed my plan of the day completely to meet him up. A good lesson for my year ahead😢

like

Have work event that calls for “cocktail light” as the dress code. I hate wearing dresses and am stumped on what to wear.

like

What’s up my queer fam! I’m posting to you guys because I’m 27 I just moved to Miami from Philly and I came out today for the first time to one of my fraternity bro from penn state, who also happens to be gay, coming out a year or so after graduating. But anyway, it felt really good telling someone and also just finally admitting to myself to the first time that ya im a gay man. Idk it’s still weird to say but it feels good. But here’s my issue now. I feel like guys when they come out they’ll

likeuplifting

Any female or nonbinary 🐠 want to meetup in NYC?

like

Out of curiosity, does anyone have an in with the Wikimedia Foundation? I applied for a WFH Fundraising position - I have experience - and I feel like nudging myself into somehow.

like

Are there any lesbians here who have been out for a while / gone through a couple relationships that would be willing to chat? I’m going through something and don’t have many queer friends I can ask for advice. Thank you.

like

Anyone in Orlando for EY milestones?

like

Any male dfw fish?

like

What gay podcasts does everyone listen to? 🎧🤓

like

Met a guy a couple weeks ago. He was great, kind, smart and handsome, treated me like a king and was very interested in a relationship immediately. I was not on same page and had to eventually tell him. He is heartbroken and I feel miserable and guilty because I hurt him. I really wish I felt the same way but I do not and not sure why. How can I soften the blow for both of us? I also feel bad I may have led him on.

like

I just want big arms, big pecs, and a cut physique. Is that so wrong? 😔

likeuplifting

Any suggestions on where to travel (within US) for Labor Day? May be taking a solo trip.

like

Finally got on the HER app because I’m determined to have a sweet romantic Valentine’s Day this year. Anybody got words of encouragement?

like

Met a guy on Grindr who was visiting my city for the week. We had dinner Friday night. Met up again Sat afternoon and spent a full 24 hours together. Enough in common to keep the conversation going, not get on my nerves, and enough chemistry to be attracted too. Is the next step plan a trip and hang out again for a day or two? I acknowledge jumping to anything more serious than travel buddies would be challenging and unlikely given the distance. Thoughts?

like

I am coming to terms that I am bi. I have tried to ignore this with every biphobic trope in the book, and finally taking my identity and feelings seriously. I’m 10 years into a straight presenting marriage with a cisgender man, who is aware/supportive/etc. I honestly cannot believe how painful this experience has been for me and how much judgement I have for myself. A recent crush on a female friend has accelerated this, & I am looking for any resources / books / communities to move forward.

like

I was today years old when I realized a rapidash is literally a giant flaming unicorn.

funnylike

I’m starting to question if I’m asexual. I’m always excited to be intimate in the beginning of a relationship, but once I get settled in my desire goes to almost zero. Is there such a thing as a reverse demisexual? What’s the difference between being asexual and just having a low libido?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal