{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I feel very conflicted about whether to jump into an EM consulting role from industry. My husband is older, has switched jobs to a role that pays significantly less to his previous one pre-lay offs. We have 1 baby and I think I want a second. We really need this jump in salary to make this work. Irrationally I’m afraid that by not seeing my daughter Mon-Thurs for a few years it will damage our relationship and we won’t be close. Can people give me some real perspective?", "post_id": "6100b9e96e133d0024e2eb18", "reply_count": 5, "vote_count": 3, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

I feel very conflicted about whether to jump into an EM consulting role from industry. My husband is older, has switched jobs to a role that pays significantly less to his previous one pre-lay offs. We have 1 baby and I think I want a second. We really need this jump in salary to make this work. Irrationally I’m afraid that by not seeing my daughter Mon-Thurs for a few years it will damage our relationship and we won’t be close. Can people give me some real perspective?

likesmart
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I wonder after few yrs of Mon-Thursday what is your end goal. Get out to slow down with enough saved? Or stay, go up thinking it will get more manageable? I know someone who did this in hopes of a promotion and ended up not getting it, leaving the firm and the sacrifice was already made. Everything is doable for few years and it will not damage your relationship with your child but think about what you want really for this sacrifice to mean and if this is the only way to go about it.

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I think it could be a two part decisión tree: our short term need for the next 3-5 years is money where any money I make stabilizes our finances and gives us the leeway to have a second child while I still can. To be introspective about my own abilities, I don’t think I’ll be a super star in this role but I have the pedigree that I could possibly last into the next promotion bracket. If not, the second goal is to go back to my industry and with an MBB on my resume I feel fairly confident I would get the same or even better type job as I have now. I just think I have no concept or honest understanding of what these 3-5 years will look like and the toil it will take on my relationships. I try to counter that with the reality that this money buys my child a sibling, and a future that will be at a better quality of life (I.e. money put aside for college etc)

This is not helpful to you, but how much money do you need to feel comfortable raising two kids/how do you calculate that? I have been in a long term relationship and I’m starting to think about this now that I’m in my early 30s. (I make 110k and BF makes 140k in Chicago) If you as a VP are making this much, I’m nervous about what I should be bringing in. I know it’s arbitrary and sorry to answer your question with my own question but would appreciate any advice!

The caveats here are that we are mortgage free. To feel comfortable I think if I had a figure I would price out nannies, daycare and all of the education options you have that you will use from ages 0-6. Then also think if you will go private or public school and what that means for your housing costs. Essentially the clothing and feeding of kids when they’re young is not that expensive, it’s the costs involved in keeping me in the workplace that’s difficult right now

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