I finally got diagnosed with ADD, inattentive type, at 28 years old. I’ve known I had depression and anxiety for years, but the symptoms and treatment never added up. It took WFH in a pandemic to realize maybe I had ADD, and still months of being dismissed and made to feel like I was crazy before I found a doctor to administer the MMPI. I feel validated, finally, but I can’t help feeling grief too over so much lost potential and unnecessary failure, especially in law school and my career.

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Are you me? I had the exact same experience a year ago when I was finally diagnosed at 28. I'll echo the suggestion to work with an ADHD coach. I've had one for six months and she's done wonders for my day to day as well as helping me start the process of realizing that I am not my ADHD.

I've also recently starting working with a therapist to work through the grief and some lingering resentment I have towards the people in my life (including my parents) who were unable to see the signs and get me help as a kid.

One of the most important things I've learned is that when you grow up with undiagnosed ADHD, you often develop a strong distrust in yourself. I don't know if this resonates with you, but I always felt like I was capable of more than I was doing but continually let myself down. One of the most helpful things I'm doing now is learning to trust myself and trust the systems I've implemented to compensate for my weaknesses (short term memory - what's that?!). It's a process and it's not easy (especially as a practicing attorney) but you're doing all the right things!

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Thank you! That is so true, I really struggle to trust and not beat myself up for my mistakes and failures.

Welcome to the club! I was 27 when I was diagnosed. Was halfway through law school.

The grief is totally normal. While it’s great to have progress and a potential solution, it’s hard to not look back with regret.

Highly encourage you to seek out ADD resources like ADDitude magazine. You may also want to start working with and ADHD coach. For me, being diagnosed later in life meant that I had a lot of coping mechanisms I needed to unlearn.

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Thank you!

Definitely feel this. I was diagnosed at 29, already in my second year of work at a firm. I look back at all the times I would go from doing so well at school or work and suddenly crash and burn... I wonder how many of those I could have avoided if I’d been diagnosed earlier? What could my life have been? WHO could I have been? Maybe the person I’ve always wanted/tried to be, instead of the half-baked version.

But there are so many good things in my life now that I wouldn’t have if I’d taken another path. Important things. So even if I’m not exactly who I’d like to be, I’m ultimately glad this is how it all turned out.

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Diagnosed at 50 after a friend with ADHD encouraged me to get tested. My mother admitted to me that my father (a college professor) had a college student with ADHD more than 35 years ago, and they marveled at the similarities, but said nothing to me! Many with ADHD can’t graduate from college or keep a job so congrats to all of us for making it this far. Hang in there!!

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Are you me? I got diagnosed recently at 25. I have no idea how I made it through law school and until this point in my career. I definitely have some grief and resentment for not being diagnosed earlier. I think those are valid feelings, I'd suggest seeing a therapist, I'm starting this week.

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Thank you all for sharing your experiences and for the advice! I feel much less alone now. Just met with a great psychiatrist and will be starting meds soon, and I am looking into a therapist too. I’ve worked with a few in the past and never had much luck (see: it taking so long to get here in the first place!). I’m feeling hopeful though, for the first time in a long while.

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