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Ha ha, Adam Grant has some good stuff.
Any new interesting Bollywood movies?
Help me with the inhand salary.
Any Spotify people here? Noticed there’s an AM role going at the moment in the UK but not sure what experience level it is. For reference I’ve got 6 years in ad sales experience with 3 years management (both in music industry). Would this be comfortable or is it worth holding out for AD?
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We need a Late Night Confessions bowl
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Wish I had silver hair and purple eyes 😆
Friday evenings lost their mojo during WFH!
Pro
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Rising Star
I’m gonna need pics to see how hot this guy is. I can’t imagine any other reason for you allowing him there.
Valid point
I was this man when I was younger, and he’s almost certainly depressed and has low self worth due to being unemployed for so long. I was on unemployment for almost two years and living with my then gf.
The way I snapped out of it was losing her. She finally had enough and dumped me, which shocked me out of my funk.
We never reconciled sadly, but it was absolutely a turning point in my life and we are both overall better for it.
Enthusiast
Amazing story MC2! I love that you are thriving man!
Is he actively searching a job, or doing anything to volunteer or anything productive? I’m a dude and that would be grounds for breaking up itself. Let alone not holding his weight in the house. Break that off
My partner went through a 3 year period of unemployment. Fortunately, I never felt like he wasn’t making an effort to get out of the situation so that wasn’t an issue but going through this period with him was extremely difficult. Being unemployed for 3 years was clearly devastating for him: the sense of hopelessness, the constant stream of rejections, the sense of humiliation from not making any money and having to rely on me to pay for groceries etc, the embarrassment from meeting friends because he didn’t want to answer their questions about whether he finally found a job and the humiliation of not being able to participate in conversations where people are talking about work, the soul destroying loneliness of not having a job and being at home looking for work while everyone else has a normal routine of going to work. This period changed him dramatically - how could it not? But I also suffered because I was seeing him go through this very difficult period and I was so helpless. It impacted my job as I couldn’t focus on other things in my life. He would call me when I’m at the office when he gets a rejection or when he has an important interview and I would stay on the phone for hours instead of working.
He finally got a job after 3 years and it was a great job but that wasn’t the silver bullet we hoped it would be. It wasn’t like he got the job and we went back to being happy and normal. After we finished the period of emergency, it was like we woke up from a coma and we realised that we’re both depressed and extremely burnt out from having gone through that. I’ve been in therapy for a few months now to try to get over the trauma of this period and my biggest learning is that even though I thought I was helping him by dedicating so much time to him and that it was the right thing to do, allowing HIS problem to take over MY life was a huge mistake. When you’re supporting someone else you tend to forget about yourself.
From your post it sounds like you lack motivation to do simple things which can be a sign of depression. You need to take care of yourself so that you don’t end up in my position extremely burnt out and depressed. See a therapist if you don’t already. Do things for you. Build up other parts of your life that make you happy. Take care of #1 (you) and that’s the most important thing.
Community Builder
Dear OP,
Can you please confirm that you have dumped him?
Cheers,
Chief
OP - show him this thread.
First take a breather if you can, maybe go for a walk. Then talk with him about what each of you thinks if a fair contribution to your life together (money, effort etc). Try to stay calm and see it from a bit of a distance to prevent getting lost in detail
And if fair contributions don't add up to the goal: consider getting a cleaner
Aaannnddddd this is why we don't co-habitate.
Community Builder
Male here. This is serious disrespect.
Throw him out and he will learn to respect his next girlfriend ( if there is one).
Your will find much better men. Good luck.
Chief
Time for new BF🧐. He is lazy and is taking advantage of you being nice🧐🧐🧐🧐.
Male here, kick his leaching good for nothing ass to the curb. The fact that he isn’t doing anything financially is one thing, but the audacity to not clean up, cook, or help while also not bringing in any income is astounding. If I lost my job and my wife was the only one working, I would be cleaning daily and trying to lesson her burden however I could. Unfortunately, it sounds like this dude is a dud and you deserve an upgrade.
Chief
Why has he been unemployed for so long? Is there something we’re missing here? Is he physically/ mentally unable to work??
Pro
My significant other was unemployed for a couple months at the start of Covid. She was definitely depressed about it, but she still manage to take care of everything around the apartment while I was at work. When I would get home we would spend our time applying to new jobs, one of which she finally got. After she started working we shifted back to a more equitable split of the house responsibilities.
Please kick him out
I wonder if he has squatters rights
Sounds like you have a grown child not a partner. I think some of your stress can be relieved by ending your relationship.
Enthusiast
Have y’all talked about it at all? Is there a reason why is he unemployed?
He might have a valid point if he was working, but he doesn’t lol. What does he do with his time? Why doesn’t he work?
Obviously if you both were working, simple solution would be to have an agreement to hire a maid.
Another solution to come to an agreement is to divide responsibilities ( ex he packs dish washer, you unpack dishwasher).
Pro
What a loser
Chief
I agree with what most people are saying here-
If he is unemployed then he has the time to make sure the place is tidy, in my opinion. It’s petty to not want to clean up after other people you live with (to a certain point). If you ever have kids (or pets), cleaning up after them will be a non-stop thing even if you teach them to be tidy. Just something to think about if he is only willing to clean his own mess, in the event you both have a major life change.
Conversation Starter
I’m sure other people have said this but he should be ashamed of himself and should be responsible for cleaning everything.
Stop enabling him. By doing nothing and saying nothing. In doing so you get what you deserve. To effect change you first have to do something.
Ew sounds like my ex husband. Dump him. Boy bye 👋