I find myself at the verge of losing it. I have a live in boyfriend who has been unemployed for a year and a half. I have a stressful job so I slack off on cleaning on the weekdays but do try my best to clean and tidy up on the weekends. He constantly complains about the apt being dirty but doesn’t lift a finger to help even though he watches TV 3-4 hours a day. He claims he cleans up after himself and shouldn’t have to clean my messes. He also doesn’t cook and waits for me to make dinner.

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I’m gonna need pics to see how hot this guy is. I can’t imagine any other reason for you allowing him there.

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Valid point

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I was this man when I was younger, and he’s almost certainly depressed and has low self worth due to being unemployed for so long. I was on unemployment for almost two years and living with my then gf.

The way I snapped out of it was losing her. She finally had enough and dumped me, which shocked me out of my funk.

We never reconciled sadly, but it was absolutely a turning point in my life and we are both overall better for it.

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Amazing story MC2! I love that you are thriving man!

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Unless this is my spouse who I have a life long contract with that fool better cook, clean and service my every sexual need or they can GTFO.

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Female here. He’s unemployed so I feel for him (IF he’s been trying to get employed). Have you communicated to him that it would be helpful if he did the chores while out of work. Give him a list of to dos and come up together with a grocery budget. Since he’s living with you and unemployed I’m assuming he’s not contributing financially to anything. You have to remember this is a boyfriend not a husband meaning if you’re traditional “for better or worse” does not apply here. In either case, have that conversation. Tell him while you’re happy to support him you also need him to support you.(by doing the chores and cooking) make sure to tell him this is important to you.If he dares to bring up traditional gender roles, kindly highlight the fact that in a traditional relationship the man financially supports the woman so if your taking on the man’s work he should take on the woman’s work. Warning if he’s mentally in a funk he may not do some if any of the things you asked. If he doesn’t listen the second time kindly remind him and tell him this is dealbreaker. If he doesn’t listen the third you need to break up. Even if he’s unstable financially sometimes people need tough love. You are not being mean. You’ve been kind, kind and supportive for a year. Kind enough to communicate your needs and give him a chance to correct it. Kind enough to take on basically taking care of an adult child. He’s the one who’s being selfish funk or not. The way I see it is that you’ve been giving more and more of yourself in this relationship but he isn’t giving you anything back other than relationship status. But ask yourself this, would you be ok if he makes this a permanent situation? Is that worth it to you? Because when people tend to get too comfortable they don’t tend to make changes. So as long as you’re giving him that comfort he won’t change. Another question I am assuming on some level you feel like you’re being the best partner you can be right now and one day he will recognize that. How upset would you be if he never sees your value? Meaning let’s say he gets a job heck a great job but now is making so much money. You may think oh that’s great. Well he ends up dumping you for someone new. If you look back to how supportive you’ve been now I’m sure a part of you would be kicking yourself. If you don’t believe he’s do anything like that please don’t be naive even the best of men don’t like to be reminded of their struggles due to their egos. Point is if he doesn’t change, kick him to the curb whether he has a place or not. You don’t want devalue yourself and waste time

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Why is your boyfriend unemployed? I think that’s really concerning. Don’t know you at all but you deserve much better than that

You’re not his mother. Why are you still with this guy?

Why are you putting up with this man child?

This is wrong on so many levels, he’s straight up using you, there are plenty jobs out there… when I was unemployed even as a person with multiple degrees and certs I humbled myself to work odd jobs when money was low so I wouldn’t have to ask for help. Never worked a double in my life but I did then!

Also I’d understand if maybe you’re living in a certain area or he has limitations of some kind, but doesn’t seem that’s the case… time to reevaluate the situation and have a serious talk w him.

What is he doing if he’s not working (also why isn’t he working ..?) but puts everything on your shoulders. Idk how you went this long before loosing it.

Things we do for love 😆 how come you're still attracted to this lazy a$$?

Kick him out - he sounds like a real charmer. Dont let him back until he gets a job and starts pulling his weight.

Issue the eviction notice on a cake. And plan hot girl summer. You sound like you are in desperate need of a vacation ❤️

Kick 👏🏽 his 👏🏽 lazy 👏🏽 a$$ 👏🏽 out! ASAP

Time to tell him he has to go. You’ve put up with that long enough. Don’t lose your sanity over someone like this.

The boy’s gotta go, if he’s going to be your partner for life he better step up and show that he can be someone you can rely on…

Tell him you WANT to be with him, but you don't NEED to be with him. He's a 24/7 houseman until he gets a job, and then he still has to do 50/50 of the housework.

If he can't get on board, then he needs to go. Plain and simple.

Speaking as a person who has been in this position more than once, it has a small percentage of ending well. While he may be depressed regarding the current situation, what will happen if/when he is employed? He works and you end up doing everything due to his employed status. What about monetary contributions? Will they be equal or income based? As previously stated, you were in this situation and doubled down. It appears there are other issues that he may need to address with himself and come to terms before resentment and anger set in. You have to do what is best for you.

You didn’t kick him out yet?

This was me, but I put up with it for almost 8 years. I just left a couple months ago. It never got better. I’m sorry.

Lol im sorry what?! Does he contribute to the bills? Why the f is he unemployed for so long when there’s a staffing shortage?!? You should not have to deal with this. Kick him out and save your sanity

Leave him. You deserve so much better

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