{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I find that single male friends of friends are generally very eager when we first met or were introduced (through events, common friends’ parties). I got invited to their hangout bunch / house parties (pre-covid), but the moment we established i have no romantic interest and only friendships, they disappeared and we become barely acquaintance. I genuinely want to keep them in my life as friends. Why is this the case?", "post_id": "5f1474a69e9d9c002266c697", "reply_count": 39, "vote_count": 13, "bowl_id": "5e6fe1c31f5e51001d267e46", "bowl_name": "Coronavirus Work-life" }

I find that single male friends of friends are generally very eager when we first met or were introduced (through events, common friends’ parties). I got invited to their hangout bunch / house parties (pre-covid), but the moment we established i have no romantic interest and only friendships, they disappeared and we become barely acquaintance. I genuinely want to keep them in my life as friends. Why is this the case?

likefunny
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These are possibly lonely guys not understanding why they're lonely (as in, being friends with a woman is a great way to meet other women, or just to have a close female friend to bounce ideas off of and get honest advice from) It makes sense that lonely people prioritize dating, though. At the same time, most of my closest friends are female. Men and women can be great friends regardless of attraction between them. I'd say keep trying to work them as a group. Easier to become part of a group than a great friend of an individual

likesmarthelpful

It's just the way society is. Most of my closest friends are female (I'm male) and I entered those relationships looking for friendships. They had the same expectations of me. Others have different perspectives though and may be looking for something else in new people they meet. That perspective I noted of others looking for something else has rubbed off on my relationships with those friends - at some point in each of those relationships, we've had others thinking there was something going on and that people of the opposite sex can't just be friends.

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They’re eager when introduced or first meet you because they are sexually attracted to you. They disappear or become distant when they realized they’ve been friend zoned. This isn’t really rocket science

likefunnysmart

Nah dude, treating women like they're vending machines that you put niceness coins into until sex falls out is toxic masculinity. Having your heart broken and needing space for that is legit. Approaching every connection with women as if its going to end with her sleeping with you, and then being petulant when it doesn't and refusing to talk to her any more is entitlement and hot garbage.

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You rejected them and they took the hint. Be glad. Men aren't looking for new female friends at that age.

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Eventually the marginal value of a new friend is pretty low (or possibly even negative) your mid to late 20s are spent trying to further your career and find someone to sleep with/marry. If someone can't add to either of those two goals it's better to cut them off and seek someone who can.

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LOl

They aren't looking for friends, they're looking for relationships or hookups. Once it became clear that you aren't an option for either of those, you're no longer of interest. Pretty damn simple.

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ROI calculus changed

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I find it easier to be friends with females now that I am married, neither side is thinking about making it romantic...well hopefully, altho my wife would probably prefer me not be friends with bunch of single females, so I still keep distance 🤷‍♂️ 🤷‍♂️

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The answer is obvious. I’m almost certain you knew the answer before posting, Op, but you were holding out hope for another reason. Sorry - there isn’t 😂

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I think it might kinda be obvious why it’s the case lol

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Do straight men really think like that? This thread is kind of enlightening, not necessarily in a good way

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Some straight women do, too. If I'm attracted to a guy, the possibility of a real platonic friendship where we hang, become each other's confidante, etc. isn't in the cards. Because I'll always want him, and it will hurt for him to not want me back.

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As a 27 year old guy, all these comments are true for me the past few years and I haven’t noticed it until pointed out in this thread. I haven’t made new female friends since college. Would rather date or sleep with a girl then end up in the friend zone. I also hate when females change there mind in the friend zone and sleep with you as it fucks with me so I just avoid that zone at all costs.

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The man is offering you pizza and you want nachos. Let him be and get your nachos somewhere else.

likefunny

OP is on fast track to upskilling to optimize time vs. benefit analysis of social interactions. Anyway, the above comments are correct; the guy is doing both of you a favor by preserving time. The only drawback is in the case that first impressions had misstated each party’s qualities and characteristics, thereby preventing an otherwise viable relationship, however, the path not taken is always present in each individual choice made.

smartfunny

Can’t force ppl to be your friend who want something more... and you shouldn’t want to... wouldn’t make you a very good friend.

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girls just aren’t fun to hang with regularly only like in group settings. i’ll hang with girls but i’ll be stoked when the boys show up. and deep down i’m open to the possibility of one night romance with any of them. lmfao

Ew David

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you friendZone them duh

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