I get into moments of extreme big law hatred and “I need to get out of here asap” and start applying for positions like crazy during. And it never fails that once a good in house position avails itself to me and I’m very far along/have an offer, things suddenly aren’t “as bad” on the big law side and then I’m left teeter tottering on what to do. Any similar experience? How did you end up choosing one or the other?

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I usually recommend the "vote for someone instead of voting against someone" method (hopefully it pans out better here than in politics!!).

If you quit simply to escape, it’s easy to rationalize the crappiness on not so bad days. If you have a reason to leave because you actually look forward to the next thing, it’s easier to stick to it. Just my take though.

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That’s amazing! Was it that your mentality changed so that this offers weren’t an escape anymore or was it this specific role that made that difference?

Ah yes, the good old rage applications. I too am familiar with this and am relieved to see I’m not the only one who does this.

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Until the next round of application fury haha

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Are you saying that you’re turning down the in-house offers or you withdraw/rejected before you get that far? If you’re turning down offers, how do you feel after turning them down? If there’s regret, then I think that is telling you something.

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I’ve turned down offers and have hoped that things don’t go well during the process so that I can delay making a decision to leave. When I did that, I initially felt relieved. But then I soon regretted it and I felt like I would definitely take the next in house position and not look back next time I had an offer. But I find myself in the same spot again. Not sure if this is normal. (Sorry if this seems jumbled, running on a few hours of sleep)

I was in this position for a bit. Eventually after a bunch of applying I found an in house position that I was excited about and I felt I was going to; I wasn’t just running away from the crappy law firm I hated. Maybe you just haven’t found the right in house opportunity?

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My wife and I call this phenomenon “graduation goggles.”

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Sorry I am running on a few hours asleep and the circuits were just fried when I read that. But this makes sense and very good considerations. I think it’s been a bit reactive initially but good to just sit and think about the objective reasons behind why I keep reacting and all the things you listed. Thanks for explaining!

Stockholm Syndrome

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In-house is not some magical cure all. You’re going to have stress and problems there too. Maybe you just haven’t found the right gig that calls to you? As others have mentioned, the goal is to be running toward, not running from (although plenty of people are just running from).

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