I got box braids and the client told the partner in my team that I need to remove them it isn't professional & he doesn't like it. Partner is now asking me to take them off. Just got them & it was exp

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1. Document this in an email. "I am following up on our conversation on xxx where you advised xxx. Can you clarify the reasoning for this request...?" For any face to face convo, send and email after summarizing it. In detail. 2. Forward to Hr

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You can listen to the other white people and get rid of them to keep yourself out of trouble or you can be your authentic self and push back. I'd recommend applying cocoa butter occasionally too. They're used to seeing white women's hair and they want you to make their white narrow-minded selves feel more comfortable.

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Just be like, "what's the matter? Am I too black for you?" This really infuriates me.

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Definitely document this somewhere. Always protect yourself

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WTF does your hairstyle have to do with your ability to deliver results? GTFOH. and why does this client care so much? you shouldn't have to pay for his racist perspectives. 😡

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You come at the king, you best not miss. All you're going to do by escalating is blacklisting yourself. The client is literally paying $1000 a day for you and as bad as it sounds, your appearance significantly matters. Is it unfair? Absolutely - but that's how a business of perception works. To be honest, your only choice is to roll off or cut them. I don't see the benefit of escalating - the partner isn't going to get in trouble for accommodating a client request

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I'm curious for all those saying "don't engage the partner" and just go quietly into the night, why you would be so afraid to stand up for yourself? When did asking someone to adhere to or defend firm values on D&I become a bad thing? Or just asking them to hear you out and see your POV? It's called open communication and dialogue. It's what grown ups do.

If you don't take the time to speak up the first time you lose the ability to speak up the next time and the time after that. Clients are paying for our IP, that does not give them the right to 100% dictate who we are as individuals. No one is saying go in guns blazing and start a raucous but to professionally and in an adult manner speak up for yourself.

I'm with @SMD1000 on this one.

And to that person who refers to box braids as something you wear in a club but not suitable for the office, you need to take that somewhere else. It's that same uninformed viewpoint that has OP in this situation.

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Predominantly white males

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If I were working with you on this project, I'd want to know what the partner did as well. I wouldn't want to work on any project were the client was such a rampant bigot and the partner is such a spineless dick. But you might get in trouble for that... so don't tell anyone.

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Jesus Christ. OP, please don't lose your individuality or sense of style because of what some racist, ignorant man said. I'm a white woman and have always wished I had the hair for box braids... I'm sure you have them styled in a more conservative fashion, for christsake, you're smart enough to get this job so I trust in your ability to groom yourself. All these issues around race and sexism aren't going away anytime soon if we don't fight it. And on top of that, people who aren't being persecuted (maybe a strong word as yes, it's hair and seemingly trivial, but 1. obviously wouldn't be a problem if not for race and 2. it's 2016, as long as it's not blue or a mohawk, get the fuck over it) need to stand up for their peers when this kind of inconsequential bullshit happens because of outdated stereotypes. The (not so) funny thing is that this guy would be in deep shit if he said this to one of his employees, but you're the "hired help" so he can dictate your appearance 🙄 Fuck that. I hope this all works out for you, sorry your partner is a wimp. Please update us because you've got a lot of people rooting for you💜

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Yes

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Really glad you posted this OP, solid advice from a few on here and good next steps you are taking to escalate. I too wear box braids and have for a really long time. I've only received positive comments and would certainly escalate if I were in your shoes. I'm also glad people have taken the time to google them and learn what they are...this is an example of how people learn what D&I actually means in practice. Let us know how this goes!

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Reach out to your people consultant to discuss. I'm disappointed to hear this.

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Boss consultant with braids > mediocre consultant with "normal hair"

In theory.

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IF you do decide to take them out (which you shouldn't) are they going to reimburse the time and effort?? I decided a long time ago I was going to let my work speak for itself. It takes gumption and does not come without risk. I am not imposing or obnoxious about it at all.

And for those that are curious: black female who sported a short on the sides, long on top cut in its natural state for years. I am not afraid of tasteful colors and patterns in my professional clothing. And yes, I'm still on the low end of the food chain.

Your Partner should have stood up for you. That's a crushing slap in the face that he just turned to you and said "You should take those out."

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DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT change your hairstyle. I wear braids and my big natural hair and dare client or partner to say anything. This is definitely an HR Diversity & Inclusion issue and the partner could face legal action regarding this. I would document and schedule time with HR.

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Admittedly, (white male here) I had to ask a black female friend what haircuts were considered professional for black job applicants when I was interviewing at a previous job - I simply didn't know on my own. That said, I judged "professional" by all sorts of unfair things - skinny ties, loud shirts, or worse, skinny loud ties with loud shirts. I've seen clients rag on a young white consultant that had the "short on sides long on top" hair cut because he didn't think it professional. It's awful a client did that to you, OP, and it's a tough situation.

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I googled and 90% of the pics looked professional but 10% did not so would need to see what OP looked like. I've had partners say I was not allowed to have facial hair before and had to shave bc they preferred clean look. Also if I showed up with dyed hair in a color other than natural hair color I'm sure I would be counseled out. So yes the partner was out of line but it's not always a racial thing

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What happened with this story???

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It shouldn't be an issue but we are in client service. You may not have much say here unfortunately if you want to stay on the project. Sucks

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Sounds too hot to handle

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@D1, While Deloitte promoted diversity/inclusion on their websites and in talking points, I worked there for 6 years and never felt like I was completely welcomed...especially on days that my hair was in its natural state. I didn't want to continue working somewhere that I felt like I was tolerated, not celebrated.

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