I got called whitewashed by my SM today. Idk how to feel about that

likehelpfulfunny
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at
Highlighted IconHIGHLIGHTED

You have two options. 1. Swallow it and move on. 2. Confront him and tell him how it made you feel. Create that uncomfortable feeling for him (and you, as well). He probably will do it again, but will think twice before he does.

This is only way we can start to create change. We all must operate with a level of uncomfortableness.

like

Lots of people saying “don’t ruin someone’s life over a throwaway comment.” Here’s my 2¢:

- Lots of Indian mgrs are culturally very hard on other Indians
- A senior mgr suggesting you “aren’t indian” or “are whitewashed” isn’t just a throwaway, it’s a statement that to him, OP has made a choice that makes them an outsider to the SM
- Besides being offensive, this could easily imply that SM will treat OP different professionally going forward in a negative way

Being a senior leader carries responsibility; you’re paid more to represent your firm and given broad leeway to make decisions which could impact the reputation of said firm. Making ugly comments to junior resources on the basis of protected characteristics like religion shows a lack of maturity and responsibility for the role. I’m only a consultant and even I’ve learned that. There’s accidents or oversights, and there’s being derogatory to other people. One is a mistake, another is a byproduct of arrogance and hatefulness.

Ernst & Young (and it’s precursor firms) is a global brand that has carried respect for almost 2 centuries; being a senior leader there requires more grace and thoughtfulness than the SM has.

OP reporting them likely won’t cause them to be fired - it’s a he said she said on a borderline explainable topic; it WILL be a warning from HR and a good wake up call for said SM, which I think is a reasonable and helpful approach to responding to this.

likeupliftingsmart
Recent IconRecent

I can provide a bit more context. SM is Indian and my dad is Indian and my mom white. We were discussing thanksgiving and I said we didn’t have turkey and had steaks. I then got a lecture on how I was turning my back on my ancestors and pretending to be white because I ate beef. For context my dad was born in Kenya and grew up in London where he met my mom. His family have been in Africa for two generations prior to him so he has no roots or family in India.

likefunny

Also I’m 100% Indian and out family has eaten beef for generations - Kerala beef is a staple and it’s really good so your SMS view is nuanced and biased

Jeez. Stop being so touchy about every small thing.

likesmart

I, to an extent, understand what you're trying to say. But for your own sake D2- the world has changed, and racial-type name calling is a sensitive topic and inappropriate.

Think of it like sexual harrassment- it's not what YOU think is acceptable, it's whether it makes the other person uncomfortable or not.. these are literally the rules of the law (uk)

like

Update: after talking to the SM about it he told me he didn’t care and stands by what he said. I’ve formally complained with my counselor backing me up.

likeupliftinghelpful

Good for you!

Yeah, I wouldn’t let that slide. I would schedule a meeting with them and sally them very bluntly what did you mean by that and why did you say it?

likesmart

Yea I’ll get something figured out ASAP. Beyond that he can F off. I’m starting a new job in January. I was gonna work really hard to transition out of my role but now, no chance. 9-5 for the next couple of weeks

like

🎶 it’s beginning to sound a lot like a lawsuit, everywhere I go, because a senior employee, said something racist to me, and now It’s time to atone 🎶

likefunny

Ruin his life. We need to get rid of these ignorant backwards POS that have managed to scuttle into leadership positions.

likefunny

Aren’t you arguably more hateful than the original sinner in this case ? The guy is a moron and needs pushback. You don’t ruin a man’s life over ignorance or a throwaway comment. There are real people on the other side of this too.

likesmart

OMG report that s—t

like

You guys are being overly sensitive and touchy feely

like

Those kind of people really hate interracial couples too

What was the context?

It’s really messed up if said in a racial context, but whitewashing can also mean to make something appear more positive than it actually is (like a business report). I feel like someone in an older generation may not know the racial context and may have used the word without realizing.

likefunny

Yes OP clarified with additional context and I’m now horrified

like

How does everybody have so much time on calls to just say random crap? I guess I need to get out of this strategy and PE work and live the relaxed life.

likefunny

While you’re busy strategizing and private equitizing til you drop, we’re absolutely chilling & totally goofing! Come to the cool side 😎

funny

It’s not appropriate and should be reported to management

like

No SC1 I assume P1 means people who sexually harass, or make repeated comments that are clearly meant in a bad way, OP should have a conversation with SM like an adult, tell him that it made him uncomfortable or that he was offended by the comment, and give him the chance to apologise. SM may not have even realised he was being offensive, he may have seen it as a light hearted joke given that he is also from a similar background. If, after OP has made him aware it offended him, the SM continues to make similar comments, then sure OP should escalate. But give the guy a chance to fix it first!

like

How ironic, just completed a workplace harassment training. Escalate and report!!

likefunny

Indeed

Post Photo
likefunny

Sorry but why is that so offensive?

like

Imagine if someone told you that you weren't white enough? Or black enough? Or "Asian" enough simply based on your food choice.

Every thought about not giving a fk?

like

Life is harder than this

Damn some of y’all are way too easily offended. Just ignore it and move on man

like

That feels like the incorrect situation to use gaslighting...

To say he’s undermining OPs reality with those two sentences seems like a stretch.

Both their opinions and feelings can be valid. Saying his “response to the world serves as a model for no one” is also invalidating D7’s view, even though there are clearly others on this thread that share that view. Whether OP chooses to take that direction is up to him.

If no one else heard your discussion , escalation won’t do you any good . On the other hand - a 1:1 with the guy where you tell him clearly that you didn’t appreciate it would probably get you an apology

likeuplifting

Escalate. If he was close minded enough to say “turning your back on your ancestors” and stuff like that, chances are there is a lot more ignorance than that came from. Having a 1:1 wouldn’t do him much good but if you’re likely to not work with him again, def let HR know. This is not the work culture we what to build at EY, you don’t owe him your dietary justifications.

like

What’s whitewashing?

like

I’m not Indian, but I like Indian food. I don’t call this integration, just enjoying nice food regardless of the origin. If people keep going like that, soon enough they’ll try to forbid Italians for eating pasta. Marco Polo was just a cultural appropriator. He has picked perfectly good noodles, added weird sauces and gave it a different name. I say no one should eat pasta now. Super offensive.

likefunny

Related Posts

I think I’ve seen a thread on this before but don’t know how to find it… what are seniors at PWC making in M&A tax for HCOL

like

Your colleague keeps busting your chops because he/she has a terrible sense of humor and doesn’t understand the inside joke. I got frustrated and tried to correct, but oh no no… I should’ve raise my voice even a little or I’m crossing the line.

likehelpful

Realize this is not the industry but hoping someone can advise on what an Event Manager in Chicago might make? 3 years experience in experiential marketing/PR events

helpful

What is the average hike you can expect in UK for a Technical analyst?

like
like

Help! My corn plant is dying 😢 Its sufficiently watered (I think) but I can’t figure out why his leaves are wilting. Any tips to help me save this guy? 🙏

Post Photo
like

Is incident mangement a good profile to work in??

like

Today I have joined IBM. I just wanted to know, if I am resigning IBM during probation period then will it create problems in future, if I want to join IBM again?

like

What do people here think about the morals of advertising to children under the age of 13? Clients use the word “Tweens”

like

My husband has a tendency of always shutting me down in discussions. I don’t know why, but his ingoing position is that I must be clueless regarding whatever topic we are discussing. It’s very annoying because 1) I find it disrespectful 2) I am smart enough to have the same job as him and 3) it means we can never talk about anything- he always turns it into an argumentative way of disproving whatever I say

like

How did you know you needed meds?

like

Hello fishies,
So I joined on Oct 17th so how many leaves will I be eligible to apply?.Can someone help? A fresher so no idea how it works.

like

On average, how many hours do you work per week? Please also specify the firm. I’ll start, I work at Crowe and I work about 40-50 hours per week every week. Cheers!

like

What’s with the FT article on Nepotism? What happened?

How is the Hike at ADP for fresher Member Technical?

Need 11 Hearts for Dm

like

The selfie posted really sealed it for me…

Post Photo
funnylike

What are some fun things your office or team has implemented to bring the team together during work from home?

like

Hello SAPIANS, My friend have 3.5 year experienced in SAP MDG module can anyone refer in sap mdg with location Germany or India

What kind of training did your company provide?

like

Additional Posts in Consulting

Hey fishies! Super curious...What do you redeem for your recognition awards?

like

Management Consulting at Big 4 or Equity Research at a BB. Which would you take?

funny

What are JFK lines looking like ? Would Arriving 30 mins prior to boarding be okay ?

like

genuinely haven’t accomplished a single task today & can’t focus

likeupliftinghelpful

ACN Strategy or Strategy& 🐠: what’s the best way to recruit into your programs if you didn’t recruit from that candidate’s undergrad program (besides getting a MBA)? Are lateral hires rare?

like

Worried about my parents’ retirement. Is it possible for me to open up a Roth IRA on behalf of my mom? My dad has a IRA & my mom is relying on her state jobs’ retirement plan.

like

I am on bench since beginning of the year , I believe the shutdown week does not count , if it does then it is about a month of benchand know that layoff is coming. Do I resign or wait for the layoff?

likehelpful

How has Covid impacted your fringe benefits? Travel perks (miles, points, per diem, meals, client events, etc.) we’re a major selling point in joining my firm. Our travel has been all but slashed, but I’m not seeing any consolidations to make up for these lost benefits.

like

What is Senior Associate salary at KPMG in Finance Transformation? Chicago

like

What are the best books on sales as it relates to consulting?

like

Ugh. Deloitte is making it impossible for me to find out the salary range and the compensation ratio for my position. Anyone with suggestions for a GPS pursuit manager within enabling areas? Other big four: what’s the average salary for this position at your firms?

like

Thank you Global Entry.

like

How many years before your 401K vests?

like

How do I stop saying “I think” when I talk? Recorded myself practicing a presentation and realized I say it alllll the time.
Started observing myself in conversation and I say it almost every other sentence. Sounds terrible and I can’t stop 🤦🏾‍♀️ 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

like

Female 🐠, I’m new to the consulting/traveling game and want recs for a handbag that looks good and has a lot of storage! Typically a laptop, a notebook, a snack pack, couple chargers & a water bottle

like

Can anyone elaborate on some B4 Human Capital type projects?

like

*meets every single job posting requirement*

"Upon review of your application, we regret to inform you that we are unable to move forward"

*meets 1/3 of the job requirements for a different company*

"Hi, I am a recruiter at xxxxx and I would love to set up some time to chat! " 🙃

likefunny

Ladies, where do you get your suits from? Not looking for anything super formal or expensive, but something that a BA would wear that says young but experienced 😂

like

Best consulting idioms. Go

like

EY fish, what are the average number of years per level before promotion?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal