I got divorced 5 years ago and was an active alcoholic then continued for a while. I got sober and have about 1.5 years under my belt. I haven't dated or been with a woman since long before my divorce and I am late 30s. I would like to date but haven't tried because I feel like I will look pathetic to any woman I dated. I don't want to have to deal with that kind of pain again but I don't want to be alone.

likeuplifting
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You never know unless you try my man. I know a lot of women who prefer men in their late 30s

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Can confirm. Go for it OP!

Omg you’re a senior software engineer, far from pathetic! Congrats on not just taking charge of your life when you saw an issue but you stayed at it. That’s amazing. Any woman would be lucky to have you. It’s clear that You know how to lead, not too many people know how to do that

likehelpful

Thanks, I needed to hear something like that. The fact the I came back and still have a career was not easy and I am very grateful.

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Not a woman, but I wouldn’t view someone as week for that. Staying sober for that long is a big deal.

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Most people cannot be alcoholism. You are far from a failure. You should be proud of yourself.

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Just wanted to say good for you for getting sober. As a woman, I wouldn’t look down on a man for not having dated for a while. What’s most important is that you are in the right headspace when you do begin to date. I’m sure you will be fine. Best of luck.

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I’m really proud of you. Please put yourself out there. I promise that you are your harshest critic.

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Female here and I don’t know anyone that would view this as a failure, if anything it speaks to your character being able to overcome obstacles. Honestly the fact that you even think anyone would think this is a failure tells me you have a certain humility that most guys these days are lacking. Get out there and give it a shot. Everyone has a past, just focus on your present and be the best you and someone will appreciate that! Good luck!

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Why do you feel pathetic? Because you’re sober or because you haven’t been with anyone in 6+ years? Nothing pathetic about either of those btw. Also it’s not like you have to share any of this on date #1. As alcoholics (18+ years sober here) we think that not drinking is such a red flag to people. The reality is that only alcoholics think that. Most people will really not make a big deal about it.

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1. That’s a huge accomplishment having 1.5 years under your belt. It’s hard. 2. You never know unless you try. Get out there. I’m sure there are plenty of nice ladies out there for you.

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I hope so.

You should be proud . Go on dates and look forward .

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Great way to pre-qualify dates as non-partiers.

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As someone who’s been divorced for 8 years, I’m not the person I was when I divorced. I’ve changed for the better. Your time being sober and the time you’ve had working on yourself has had a positive impact.

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Both are text person so talking happens over chats. No calls.
But I am not sure if she's into me.
Few things which make me believe that she's into me-
-everyday good morning goodnight texts, sharing posts about relationships throughout the day
-sharing her childhood memories, pics
Things which make me feel otherwise-
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- emoji game
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