I got to know that my uncle passed away overseas.

My dad summoned all of us as he did not want to break the news of my uncle's passing to my mom.

In his defense, "your mom is very emotional and she will lash out". He wanted us to take care of it.

The man has been married for 37 years. Why are brown men like this? What is it so hard to have a conversation with your own wife and grieve properly 🙄🤦🏾‍♀️

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As a fellow brown person, I think most men in our cultures lack basic emotional management skills. They have never been taught how to manage their own emotions maturely or handle other peoples expression of emotion. The result is a lot of unhappy wives and kids.

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Smh, he did the same thing when my grandmother passed away. He didn't break it to her. He called two of his buddies and their wives came over to break it to my mom. 🤦🏾‍♀️

I was 13 at the time.

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Why is too hard for you to have the same conversation with your dad? Are you non-brown?

likesmart

I agree but it has nothing to do with stereotyping men based on color.

likesmart

It helps to learn and empathize with your dad and his upbringing back then as opposed to judging based on your more (supposedly) modern upbringing. Different generations have different challenges and your dad may not have been taught or encouraged to express emotions in what the modern generation calls the right way.

I hope your future children many decades from now don’t judge you harshly for the effects that the current environment have done on you.

smartlike

I agree except that I don’t think there are modern vs traditional ways of expressing yourself. Its really just healthy ways vs. unhealthy ways. “Traditional” has become a cop out for forms of communication that are just objectively toxic.

Sorry to hear about your uncle

likehelpful

Thank you. Much appreciated

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Inna Lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un

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Inna Liliah-e Wa Inna Ilahe rajeoon

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Inna Lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un

Your dad clearly doesn't have the emotional skills for this situation. This is not a brown parent thing, this is a your dad thing.

Please have empathy for him, you are judging him because asks for support for something he finds difficult?

It's not like he is doing anything wrong, or gaining something from this behavior.

likeuplifting

Yeah, I hear you. I just think you maybe underestimating how difficult it is for your dad because it is not difficult for you.

upliftingsmart

Is this a stereotype with brown men? Not judging just curious given I’m not a brown person.

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Unfortunately, it is.

Sorry for your loss OP 🙏🏼

Just curious how he intends on sharing the news? If they’re anything like my (brown) family everyone will have posted on Facebook by now. My mom would be even more devastated to hear from anyone other than me/my dad.

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Honestly I was scared that she would find it through a WhatsApp /Facebook page.

My sisters and I came at midnight to speak with her. I have been here since last night. They completed the last rites an hour ago. She cried a lot. I gave her melatonin to help her sleep and heading back for work now.

I’m sorry

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Thank you. He was on dialysis for 4 years. We are grateful that he is not in persistent pain anymore.

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