I grew up poor and it fucks with my mental health whenever I go back to the home I grew up in. To the point I don’t want recent friends and significant others to ever see where I grew up. Anyone else ever deal with this? How did you overcome it?

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U can’t change the ur past or family. Be proud of who you have become now because ur past played a role in it. Always look ahead in life but don’t forget your roots. Life is hard.. the only way to make it through this by keep moving forward, and if possible take others with you. U can start by thinking of ways u can help your family and other people who are in the same situation now as u were when u were growing up. See if u can do something to improve their situation. Pay it forward !!

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Me too! Those survival skills have served me well. I am proud of having worked for everything I’ve ever had, having empathy, rooting for the underdog and being generous. My dad grew up poor and then when we had $ thru his hard work he taught us to give back from an early age. Then he became disabled and we were on the receiving end of help. We were always the same people, no more than, no less than. And for those that look down on others who need help, it is a million times better to be giving than receiving.

I think it also has a lot to do with how much it reminds you of your younger self while you lived in that house. Maybe it’s the environment that brings back some memories which you would rather live without; or a distorted sense of comfort that is toxic for your current self and tarnishes all the progress you’ve made over the years.

If you’re cordial with your family well enough to suggest them to relocate, (and sell off the house) or renovate. That might help a bit.

I am not dissing on people who say “remember your roots” but you need to cut off ties to people, places and memories if it’s holding you back or affecting your mental health.

When you were younger you didn’t have things in your control, now you do. If your embarrassment stems from a place of financial inadequacy, you need to remember that you make your own fate now - either work for it or live with it.

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You’re uncomfortable because you have to be vulnerable, open with others, and that’s hard to share when we are ashamed or unhealed. The reality is everyone has a different story, someone could have grown up in a wealthy or middle class family and have different things they are ashamed of, perhaps an alcoholic in the family, unsupportive parents, racism, etc. This is your story. You don’t have to bring others back to a place that still triggers you, but you can talk about how that experience shaped you, how it has motivated you etc. Bad experiences don’t just have to be about trauma, shame, they can also lead us to a better path in life.

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I grew up poor in an abusive family. I left my home city when I was 25, and haven’t gone back in 15 years. Haven’t seen my sibling or my nieces nephews and other extended family in 15 years and i am not even sad about it. My parents come and stay with me time to time for a few months at a time. In the last 14 years they have visited me 4 times.. like every 3-4 years. I do miss my sibling very much but I do video with them time to time. They are in a different county, 18 hrs of flight... just wanted to share that u r no alone.

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Very much the same. Thank you for sharing.

Also in this same situation, but I don’t have a great relationship with my family and live several states away so I don’t ever bring anyone to their house. Growing up, I just always suggested other places to hang out or we’d go to someone else’s house.

Probably not the answer you’re looking for, but that’s my experience.

In terms of my viewpoint on money, I would say that I am less stressed out and over the years have stopped feeling guilty about purchases that I make, which was initially a huge problem when I first started working and making a nice salary. Coming from an environment when every dollar spent meant going without something else, it’s hard to shake from that mentally but I will say that it has come over time and not having that panic there is so nice.

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Remember how far you’ve come and how you broke the cycle of poverty. The way you grew up makes you who you are and until you fully become comfortable with yourself, you won’t be able to be who you are with SO/friends.

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Not OP, but thanks everybody for the posts in this thread. Probably most people in consulting worked through and left behind a lot of sh*t to get where they’re at, and it’s heartening to hear this support from others.

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Think the other way around, you rose from a difficult point with your hard work and determination.
Your visits could make other people in your society to believe they could be successful like you.
Be humble and enjoy life, its tough but its beautiful.

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In addition to my comments above.. what makes me sad the most is that I know there are people who are in worse situation then I grew up in and I am not able to do anything for them. I have my own family, young kids and I am trying to give them everything I can and keep them happy. I think my mission in life is to help people who are in same / worse situation then I grew up in and I am sad that I am not able to do anything to make their life better. But I have hope that some day I will dedicate my life to well being of other people.

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I’ve learned to embrace it. it’s part of my story. And as I started to share my history with others, people didn’t judge, if anything they appreciated the transparency and think it’s inspiring to see the different ways people can become successful.

Think about “younger you” - if someone like “current you” had come back to town, would that have given you hope of a better life? If so, you could help others back home

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Same background but I’m proud of it. It makes me a better, more well rounded person. I’m kinda upset my future kids won’t know that hardship only because you don’t know hot if you haven’t felt cold

Own it !!
Prosperity is the healthy way to get better. And those friends of yours that do the same, celebrate them.

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