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I have always been attracted to both men and women and have had sex with both. I honestly believe that you owe it to yourself and to anyone you end up spending your life with to explore your sexuality before making any lifetime commitments.
I know too many people who got married, even had kids, and then years later realized they wanted to live their authentic lives with the other gender.
Talk to your BF. Tell him how you feel. There are ways to explore this as a couple if he wants to do that. Please don’t ignore what you are feeling though.
Okay first of all, questioning your sexuality and discovering something new about yourself is always very scary but it can be a very exciting and fulfilling process.
If you aren’t sure whether to tell your boyfriend just yet I would encourage you to find an lgbt community to ask more questions and process your thoughts a little bit better (there’s an lgbt bowl on here and they might be able to offer better resources or share their experiences with you). Then after that if you still dont feel comfortable find someone else to confide with who you know will have an open mind. Don’t force yourself to make big decisions right away and don’t let your mind get clouded too much by the big “what if’s” and take some time to breathe and learn this new side of you. Then if after all of that you realize that you still like men and you want to want to stay with your boyfriend you’ll still have gone through this beautiful experience of questioning and arriving at your true self.
Some background on my experience - I identify as a queer cis woman but if I’m talking to straight ppl I’ll usually just tell them I’m bi. Reason for this is that during college I started questioning myself a bit more and decided that I only thought that I just liked men because this is all I had been taught my entire life. I had dated guys before too who I was definitely romantically attracted to but wasn’t too into sex either (which I attributed to inexperience). I dated a girl and while I was attracted to and, at one point, truly in love with her, I realized that sex was something I was just into very rarely but not to the degree everyone else was. The more I discovered and learned, though, the more I felt like LGBT letters were too constricting (especially when I felt like I was also attracted to non-binary and trans ppl). So at the end I just stuck w queer. I love that it’s broad and all encompassing. Remember that sexuality is a spectrum and you might not fall on the straight end but you might not be on the other extreme side either.
All I’m trying to say is that this is a journey and you won’t find a yes or no answer right away, and when you do it’ll still feel like a bit of a risk. But in the end all that matters is that you are happy!
I wish you the best of luck on your journey! Feel free to DM if you want to chat a bit more :)
Wow...I was literally in your exact situation 3 months ago. When I started coming to that realization, I was like there is no way I can leave this man, he’s my everything. A month later he confessed to cheating on me, twice. We were together 5 years sis. I just moved out a week ago and it’s the best decision I ever made in my entire life. I am so free I can fly. It hurts like HELL but there is so much happiness on the other side. Be honest with yourself and whatever you do, never ignore your gut.
OP, direct message me if you want to talk! I am here for you.
Also, consider talking to a therapist. At least it helps me. It turns out I am not gay in my case, but other things coz the feeling. Discovering yourself is nothing wrong or easy. Best luck.
I have a friend who had exactly the same situation. So I agree about talking to a therapist.
Thank you for your support, Ive found a few local therapists to that I'll be getting into contact with to see prices, experience. I'm looking to talk through this and understand myself better, at which point I'll feel more comfortable going to my partner to discuss what I want.