I hate my brothers wife. She’s a doctor and is super prestigious. Always talking about how she’s her own boss, luxury bags etc. We used to be friends now I hate her after she married my brother. Feel like she stole my place in my own family. I’m the only girl, always wanted a sister and this absolutely sucks. We act nice but I hate her. Help.

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This chick is in love with her brother.

I vote Florida or Alabama, maybe Louisiana.

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You’re a good sport, I'm on your side now. I hate her too!

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D1 - remember two things 1) never compare yourself to another. Be proud of your own journey 2) people who brag are the most insecure and unhappy people out there.

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Yeah thanks I’m struggling with 1) big time!

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Doctors are the worst, my ex wife is a doctor, I understand they work hard to get where they got to but they think others are stupid.. that’s why I’m doing research in medical AI to replace doctors, it motivates me to see her out of work..

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That’s fair! Makes sense. Hard to turn that off.

Did you mean pretentious?

Have you reflected internally as to whether this hatred may be from some of your own insecurities, which are on display in your post.

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Could be yes both :) I don’t feel comfortable around her anymore and trying to find best way to not feel anything. Yes I have insecurities isn’t that part of the human experience?

I obviously would have to do something internally I can’t change a person or control them, only how I react or feel about them.

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I was married to a woman I loved very much. My sisters were always catty in high school, and had some ego as well, which carried on into their early adult lives. My wife was blunt and at times unintentionally rude. From warly on they didn’t get along, would avoid each other at family get togethers, and apparently would snipe at each other if they did interact (I hadn’t noticed this but was told by my wife). She would be in tears after we spent time with my family - I absolutely hated it, because I really enjoyed seeing them. But I wanted her to be happy, and so if there was ever a scheduling conflict between our two families for holidays or get-togethers, guess whose family we would choose. There was very little effort to include my family.

We were happy for a long while, but I went years barely seeing my family. We’re divorced now, for that and many other reasons, but I lost so much time with my family that I can never have back.

Don’t let something petty between you and this woman grow into a major wedge that comes between you and your brother; he will choose her over you and your entire family, because she is his family now.

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And sorry for your ending! Hopefully it’s a redirection to something much better and life experience full of lessons ☺️ family time is something I hope to nourish too, super easy to lose sight of it during work relationships and other priorities

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Comparison is the thief of joy.

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Life isn’t zero sum. Someone else’s success doesn’t take away from yours. Learn to celebrate when the people around you are doing well.

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What have you got going on? I get the comparison is the thief of joy point that was made. She may be a wake up call for you to get your shit together, or maybe a reminder that you already do and shouldn’t feel belittled by her. There may be an off chance as well that she can sense your standoffishness and she keeps acting that way because she feels you don’t think she’s good enough for your brother. Sort of a vicious cycle type of thing.

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Yeah she has in passing said how much money she’s gonna make and I said moneys not everything and she said I’m stupid for saying that lol. And the passing comments in front of other ppl that I wouldn’t know about a certain topic when I’m educated I know … for example what hematology is. It’s just weird scenarios like those. She’s competitive in nature even my bro said that and I think I’m just turned off by ppl that make things a competition esp when it’s a who knows more situation!

Thanks tho I do have shit going for me it’s just feeling content in consulting and contributing meaningfully! Thanks for reminder SC.

Maybe I had expectations as well of what a sister would be or feel like. I crave that bond. But its just not natural. Note to self: not to have any expectations = less disappointment

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Yes 100% I’m definitely not the kind to make this in a public setting awkward or anything lol this post was just venting and I felt better after writing.

Thank you for sharing it wasn’t easy for you at times as well. It is a new space to be in.

You’re right she’s just a diff person! I will channel my hopes somewhere else.

Maybe talk to your brother about asking her to tone down the bragging. I think that is the best way to go if not done already.

Catty women forcing the men in their family to take sides. No, they were friends before she got married, she should have that conversation directly.

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OP Grew up to being the princes in the family and feels like she was robbed of the title.
Grow up.
Your brother has a wife and family, don’t try to take him away from that.
You’ll understand when you get married and have a family of your own.

The assumption that I don’t have my own family… I wasn’t a princess in the family, it’s weird when ur friend gets married to your brother. Hope you don’t have to go through it!

OP, your comments are kinda confusing. You are the only girl in the family, you always wanted a sister, but you feel like she stole your place? So do you want to have a sister or do you want to be the only girl? You literally cannot have both. If she used to be your friend, then I would assume you used to get along with her fine, so it’s not really about her being a doctor or her luxury bags. The only difference is she is now your sister in law. So bottom line is, you don’t welcome her into your family?

Ok thanks!

C’mon, growing up. It’s like the story of pre-school little girl

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