{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I hate people who have kids and then act like their life is so much more busier than yours and that they have a life and if you're single you're prob just sitting around doing nothing. News fucking flash single people have a life we actually can be very busy. Jeeeeesuuusss.", "post_id": "61ce62156eb73d002d12b0b1", "reply_count": 264, "vote_count": 88, "bowl_id": "5e8656b80bdab1002a7355dc", "bowl_name": "Confession ", "feed_type": "bowl" }
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I hate people who have kids and then act like their life is so much more busier than yours and that they have a life and if you're single you're prob just sitting around doing nothing. News fucking flash single people have a life we actually can be very busy. Jeeeeesuuusss.

likefunnysmart
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I think you’re underestimating this a little. I used to think the same but single busy is different because we choose to be busy (other than your job) but I could still take the weekend off, binge Netflix and rest as much as I wanted to. Parents cannot do that because it’s not optional to be busy. Even when you get married and buy a house, you’re more busy than single people because you’re now planning your days with another person and do not have a luxury of just saying: “I’m just chilling today, I’m not getting out of bed”. My wife is now pregnant and between all the appointments and looking at different daycares, our life has been “busier”, but wouldn’t change this excitement for anything.

I’d say keep an open mind, ask questions but be respectful especially if you haven’t walked in someone else’s shoes. Take this advice and apply it in every aspect of your life.

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MM1, I agree that it goes both ways and especially that there shouldn’t be special treatment for anyone primarily when it comes to job if that’s what you’re referring to bc the original post wasn’t about that.

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The main difference between people with kids and people without is that people without kids have no idea what that responsibility is like, but people with kids know what life was like before kids. I don’t think this gives someone the right to dismiss a person’s feelings or opinions because they don’t have kids, but just pointing out a fact.

My brother-in-law who owns a few businesses and has a very “busy” life would always say “tired of what” and go on about he much he has going on and still had the energy to do more. He also had no understanding of why it would take more time for us to do things (get ready, leave the house, change plans because of our kids, etc.) because he didn’t have kids. Once he had a kid he fully understood and now agree’s that a having a kid is a different level of responsibility that can really wear you down beyond anything else he’s experienced.

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We understand that you can be busy, but kids are a neverending constant responsibility that we never get a break from. I miss my kids free life, but I also love my kids. Honestly, it's not about you.

likeupliftingsmartfunny

AA1 got it

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I used to think my life was busy, then I had kids

likefunnysmart

Agreed A1. Parenthood is a whole other definition of busy.

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I think most parents are just jealous that they decided to trade in their single life “free time” aka be able to make the decision how they want to spend it for “let me carbon copy myself” because society tells me it’s the only way I’ll be happy and fulfilled in life…

likesmart

I mean being “alone” at 50 sounds great to me. I would probably be retired by then without kids.

Everyone’s different though. I know I would be happy without kids, but not everyone would.

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If you are a caretaker for a disabled person or other adult relative on the serious decline, then you can begin to imagine the weight of responsibility, otherwise no. There is no comparison. This whole “I can’t do that this weekend because I have kids” thing or asking you to take on more work - I have never, ever seen that in elite nyc law firms. To the contrary, the parents - and especially the moms - we have to do the same amount of work and more to prove we don’t lack commitment to the place. So ultimately being a parent both 1) puts a huge amount of extra work and emotional stress on our plate; 2) limits our upward growth even when we work hard as hard at work as peers.

Maybe your industry is different.

Edited to say - until you have been up until 2-3 am working every night, 7 days a week, with expectation to get up and get a kid ready for school at 7 am on week days and be bright and cheery doing it, and maybe also order presents for a birthday and organize a Christmas for family between that time, and breastfeed a baby multiple times a night - you just really have no idea.

likefunny

Thank you counsel 1!!!

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I only have 1 medal to give - to everyone commenting how busy their life is with kids...soooo....

likefunny

Busy parents don’t spend this much time thinking about you - so don’t spend this much time thinking about them.

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No kids, but I think the assumption is that you can generally just stop being busy if you don't have kids, at will. You can't call the kids and be like "not feeling it today bro, can we reschedule?". I can with my PT, friends, etc.

likesmart

OP are u trying to argue that because people chose to have kids that people should not care about their more crucial responsibilities? Cuz that’s a dumb argument

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This is possibly the dumbest thread I’ve seen. People with kids are probably in fact generally busier. Does not mean that people without kids aren’t busy. People with kids, don’t assume that people without kids aren’t busy or should be free to pick up extra work at night because they don’t have kids… I have a play to go see or a Halo tournament or soccer game to go play or any other thing keeping a non-kids person from work is equally valid as an excuse as I have to go pick up my kid, etc. and should be respected as long as the timing is planned/communicated accordingly and work is getting done

likefunny

EY3. True. My assumption is that working parents tend to have more unplanned events cuz Kids are basically lil drunk adults.
But yes Ina planned situation where there isn’t any work/personal emergency the workload should be split evenly across the team regardless of personal situations.

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Yeah there’s really no comparison. And honestly, single people usually do spend a lot of time sitting around doing nothing

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Damn I didn’t realize

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I think there is a bias against single people in the workplace, for sure.

likehelpful

Can we just agree that none of us should work after 6PM, parent or not. Seriously, there’s more to life.

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The people on here who chose to have kids making it real clear they regret their decision 😂

likefunny

37, attorney, board member, paid speaker, and author; I’m also taking care of elderly disabled financially dependent parents. No kids, and busy af

likehelpful

100% agree. I think it’s a combination of projection from their experience (ie they weren’t as busy when single), and resentment from the weight of personal and financial responsibilities of children.

Too often it’s done without recognition that people are busy in a number of ways, be it family, friends, professional, community, etc and someone who doesn’t have kids may still have those other responsibilities.

It doesn’t need to be a relative comparison or competition. The healthiest relationships are with people who understand that and focus on how to support each other, not tear each other down.

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Thaaannkk youuuu

My good friend is married without kids. He is currently building a new wing on his house (with this own hands); he does tree work on the weekends and coaches youth sports in the spring and fall, and he does volunteer work regularly. His wife works a ton as a nurse and does a lot of volunteer work, herself.

They are *very* busy. The difference is that busyness as a single or childless couple is mostly optional; once you have kids, the busyness becomes mandatory.

I won't complain for one minute. I chose to have kids, though I didn't quite appreciate exactly how taxing it would be, but it isn't a bother or anything. Having kids has been really great.

likehelpful

This. But honestly a non-caregiver will never understand this perspective until they become one (if ever). That is just reality.

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You lost me at more busier.

funnylike

😂 🤷‍♀️

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Learning all those TikTok dances can really take it out of you! I get it, I had a MySpace.

likefunny

I want to add that we are attacking each other instead of the companies that are making us work until late at night.

likehelpfulfunny

Then that doesn't sound like a good work environment. I would start looking elsewhere. The problem sounds like you have an abusive boss that's trying to overwork you.

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Can’t be that busy if you have time to post and rant on fb…

likefunny

Straight roasted

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I think the point is that these people chose to have children. It’s not our responsibility as childless workers to take on more work because of you have kids.

likefunny

Just don’t take on the extra work? You are pissed at the wrong people- it’s not parents that are the issue it’s the company that can’t function without overloading people.

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Unless they're mine, I don't care about how busy you are because of your kids. That was your decision.

likesmart

Yes! So is working in a demanding profession. If you have kids and you don't want to pay for a full-time nanny, there are plenty of part-time jobs you can consider, or just be a stay at home parent.

All of these choices are valid and fine by me. Offloading the consequences onto your team is not.

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I had a boss that refused to give me a raise because he said "I didn't need it." He said the guy in a lower economic class with a baby needed it more.

Did I rail against lower income people and families? No. I eventually told my boss to FO and found a better job. You know why? It's the boss that's creating an unfair working environment because he didn't want to pay more. If your boss is giving you more work because a parent needs time off It's because that boss doesn't know how to delegate and chances are, even if there was no parent there, they would still give you more work and find another excuse.

Learn workplace politics. Bosses use it all the time to overwork and abuse their employees. You're taking the bait and attacking your coworker instead of learning how to set boundaries for yourself and ask for what you want.

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Spot on

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Every parent here has been where you are, and they’ll tell you they are unquestionably busier. Only one group here has seen both sides. Might want to listen to their perspective.

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The overall point is that we each have shit to do. Sure, you can argue one is mandatory busy and one is "optional" busy, but in the end just because YOU chose to have kids doesn't mean child-free people have to cover for you or pick up the slack or don't have things they need to do.

I'll gladly work extra hours for a coworker on occasion to help out. But so many parents act like we child-free MUST work extra hours simply because they have kids and we don't. If your excuse is, "Well you don't have kids so what else are you doing with your time?" and that's why you expect me to cover for you? Nah. That's BS

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