I have a crush on a senior coworker, he is about to be engaged, and i also I have a partner. I’m sure I’m not his type, but there has been few situations that made wonder otherwise.... or maybe all is in my head. I think I just need it to say it out loud to be able to move on, but I miss seeing him.

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I don’t want to discourage your feelings but think you should let this pass by. I don’t know if you work with him on the same engagement team but it’s common for people to develop feelings (may not necessarily be romantic, a lot of times it’s just platonic friendship) for people they work closely with.

By keeping this to yourself you can preserve the friendship you already enjoy with him and avoid awkward situations in case you’re misinterpreting the signs that he may also be interested in you.

If you aren’t happy with your partner, there are other people out there, don’t limit yourself to the PA pool!

likesmarthelpful

I’ve developed crushes on many coworkers throughout my career. Something about working together and interacting intellectually on a daily basis does that to me. I have never acted on it and I am so thankful. Each and every time, as soon as the engagement is over and I move on to working with different people, the crush passes.

We are human and our interest in others will be peaked at times regardless of how happy and fulfilled we are at home. I truly believe that. What we can control is how we deal with the little crushes that come along. Recognize it for what it is, don’t act on it, and take care to tend to your home life properly.

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This is such a real response and I appreciate it. PA is unusual in that we often spend more time with our coworkers than our own families and partners and so relationships get really close really fast. As soon as you take a step back or the engagement ends you just have a normal-ass friendship and it’s all good. Things I wish someone had told me my first year because wow I felt guilty having so many strong feelings (mostly non-romantic) for team members.

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My friend told me something that really resonated with me. Different people will give you different things and make you feel different ways. Find what feels good and ask for that from your partner. If your partner can’t give you what you want then reevaluate the relationship. Evaluate your relationship in a silo independent of anyone else. Also don’t be a home wrecker.

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I love this! Thanks for sharing your wisdom!!

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Let it go

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