I have a family member battling mental health issues and refusing to get appropriate professional help. This has started to take a toll on me and I’m doing my best to focus on work. Does anyone have tips/advice on how I can continue to do so? It’s not something I could or would even mention to anyone at my firm.

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I am with you in this boat. A lot of people are but they do not talk about it. You cannot make someone do anything they are not willing to do. I have bipolar siblings and they make it very hard to maintain focus on work and any semblance of peace because they thrive on chaos. The best thing I found is to have my own therapist. They help me deal and advise me. 45 minute zoom call once a week. Otherwise, I keep my phone on “Do not disturb” and my settings have them so their texts do not pop up. I deal with them on my time table, not their schedule and whenever they wish to inject themselves into my life. When they are unmedicated they are even more erratic. You need to build walls. Respond with monotone texts “I am sorry but I am working” and repeat same over and over. Do not fall for their baiting. Sending strength.

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Thank you so much for sharing.

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You are a person too and deserve to focus an appropriate amount of your energy on things that are for you—this includes furthering your career through work. I have a paranoid schizophrenic parent that has been involuntarily hospitalized multiple times for it (thinks people are following and poisoning them, trying to kill them, etc.—scary shit). I give this parent as much time and energy as I reasonably can, while saving everything I need for myself and my spouse and kids. This often means ignoring my parent’s calls and texts, sometimes for a week or more (I’ll read the texts but deliberately don’t respond). I can’t control whether parent takes their meds and when they don’t there is nothing I can say to change their mind. It sucks, but mental health issues are often lifelong issues and you shouldn’t allow these issues to sabotage your own life. It took me a very long time to get to this place, and maybe it’s shitty of me, but it’s what I need to survive and thrive and I have to put myself and my spouse and kids first. I fully accept that someday this might mean I get a terrible phone call about said parent—I can only do so much.

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Thank you so much for sharing.

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