{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I have a guy friend who texts me on a daily basis. I’m happily married with a kid and he is in a relationship too. He tries to pepper his texts with something sexual and it’s starting to get on my nerves. for example, if I say it’s nice weather out he will then tell me to sunbathe nude. the other day he said he’s happy with his relationship but misses the thrill of new sexual flings. I have no interest in this man and i’m not sure why he continues to text me. he is also a partner at a firm (cont", "post_id": "61438a74517bc2002352b95b", "reply_count": 41, "vote_count": 5, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

I have a guy friend who texts me on a daily basis. I’m happily married with a kid and he is in a relationship too. He tries to pepper his texts with something sexual and it’s starting to get on my nerves. for example, if I say it’s nice weather out he will then tell me to sunbathe nude. the other day he said he’s happy with his relationship but misses the thrill of new sexual flings. I have no interest in this man and i’m not sure why he continues to text me. he is also a partner at a firm (cont

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He’s looking for an affair partner, and slowly leading his way by seeing how far he can get. He may think you’re interested just bc you’re responding (men are dumb like that). Don’t tolerate uncomfortable/bad behavior for any reason, including networking opportunities. Don’t fear calling them out and setting boundaries. To improve behavior, we must call people out. Option 1: Your sexual references and innuendos make me uncomfortable. Option 2 Hey, let’s keep it PG. My husband has access to my phone and would not be comfortable with sexual references/inuendos, and neither am I.

likesmart

Every time you engage with him you encourage him (I'm not saying that to victim blame I'm just saying it's what he wants) He's never going to help you with anything (not without a price) and he's sucking life force out of you. Texting daily? Don't respond

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Why would you want to network with someone who comes off as if he is only willing to help you out in return for sexual favors? lol? Edit: you state that you are married. Does your husband know? If the roles were reversed and your husband was doing this, how would that make you feel? I am trying to understand why you think having this quality of a “network” is worth it? A true great network is someone who is respectful. If he speaks like this to YOU, what are the chances he also speaks like this to other people and makes them feel uncomfortable? lolz

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This guys isn’t going to help you professionally. Cut him off.

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I absolutely agree. He seems like a very quid pro quo type of person and isn’t worth the potential risk to your marriage.

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This man is harassing you. If he’s doing this when you DON’T need something from him, imagine how it would go if you did need a networking favor? Therefore he is NOT a viable network relationship to maintain. Cease contact

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Honestly it’s leading this guy on to not actively shut it down. Gotta be direct.

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Why do you want to be friends with or “network” with a guy who just wants to bang?

likesmart

https://youtu.be/FKOiO7-2oCk

Be direct with him and set boundaries

likesmart

You’re got to just be direct because he is putting out feelers snd will continue to do so

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Hey op, you might not know this but you are also leading him on by responding to such text with emojis. You need to be direct and shut this down.

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Block him. Cease contact. That's it.

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I had a classmate/eventual coworker like that. I wouldn't respond to those types of messages and would ghost for a day or 2 when it happened. Once some time passed and he sent something normal, I'd resume like nothing happened. Also told my husband about any weird crap he said (we strive for keeping situations like this out in the open so it can't be misconstrued).

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Also as others have said, slow phase out.

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Could it be that you secretly enjoy the flirting?

smarthelpful

Ugh. I would block him tbh. Men like this never change and they never stop.

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‘Networking’ with someone like this is a liability and not an asset to you. Asking for bikini pictures from a married colleague who does not welcome the attention? That is harassment if I ever saw one. Tell him you are uncomfortable and he needs to stop. No need to bring that your SO would be uncomfortable- you are uncomfortable and that’s enough. If he continues I’d block him and stop contact all together. Good luck OP. The path forward is clear here.

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Heart to heart that some of his suggestive jokes make you uncomfy. You know it’s his personality (🙄) but your boundaries with friendship don’t include that and you think it would make your partner uncomfortable.

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Often soft bc the blowback can be harsh. Use your own judgement but set boundaries regardless. It’s an unfair situation

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thanks everyone, will start tapering off my responses and hope he gets the hint.

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I honestly think some Great direct responses were given. Literally copy paste. Especially if you want to maintain some semblance of a relationship but alright. Years is a long time. Seems like conflict avoidance to just escape. If he asks you straight up what’s going on I hope you’ll be direct.

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so trying not to burn bridges (networking is everything where I am).

Would it be okay if your spouse were doing the same with a colleague?

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