I have always been a secure person in life. I got laid off last year and am going through a huge career setback. I also had issues with my personal life - breakup/grief/sexual assault. It’s been really difficult. I started dating someone and have been feeling very insecure in the relationship. He is a great guy but I have trouble absorbing any love or affection. I’m just really insecure and feel like I’m not good enough. I never compare myself with other women but I (respectfully) stalked his

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Sending lots and lots of love OP. Your job status and weight have nothing to do with your worth or ability to be loved (even if your mind isn’t telling you this right now). Maybe it’s time to find a new therapist, one that you would want to see? Sometimes a fresh change is needed and is good.

likeuplifting

OP you are depressed. Continue to see your therapist or find a better one and focus on getting better. Focus on you. Take one issue at the time, like health, followed by getting a job, etc... get back to your core then you can be strong to deal with everything else

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FYI-your boyfriend, his ex girlfriend(s) all just a distraction and you are likely aware of it - you know you need to get back to yourself.

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Ex’s LinkedIn’s and they are all really smart and are doing great. I also gained a lot of weight and this is the heaviest I’ve been in life. I really don’t know why I feel like this. Has anyone gone through this and been able to come out of it entirely?
I do have a therapist but I don’t feel like seeing her these days. I’m just so embarrassed of and grossed out by who I have become 🤮

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You are dealing with a lot. Give yourself credit and cut yourself some slack. The pandemic amplifies a lot of things. We're still restricted from a lot of things so many of us have gained weight and lost happiness over a range of things but you are a fighter. Add that you are recovering from a traumatic experience both from the assault and from layoff. These all add to the burden you are feeling and it can be overwhelming.

One of the things I find helpful when I'm overwhelmed is to give name to each thing. Make a list of what is weighing you down. Then try figuring out what might help each one and figure out the top 2-3 most important ones for you and tackle those. Example: unhappy with weight gain (this is one I feel)... try to fit a 20min walk in every day even if it's a slow amble or moving around my home. If I miss a day, it's okay. Tomorrow is a new day.

Once those things become habit, you can take on another. You may also want to find support network whether friends, family, formal support groups, etc. You can do this!

likehelpful

Hey lady. They’re ex’s for a reason. He chose you and is choosing you - not your job, not how much you weigh.

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OP, work out for mental health. You are you. His exes may look great on LinkedIn but you are this beautiful self that’s reflecting and have the ability to realize the negativity of this phase and questioning self. Forget the job and weight but work out and try that therapist. Lots of good wishes for you:)

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I’m so sorry you’re going through this! I don’t really have much to say that is helpful, but you need to give yourself a break. You have gone through something difficult and traumatic, and you need to give yourself time to heal, and unfortunately healing takes longer than we want it to sometimes.

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I’m so sorry you are going through all of these major stresses. Yes, sounds like depression but please go back to your therapist and focus on healing and regaining hope. As for the guy you’re dating, look at it this way: he has a good track record of dating smart, successful women. That includes you! You are his type too. Don’t worry about him, focus on you. Weight gain can be from a lot of things including stress, depression, thyroid. Had them all. Start walking. It feels great to lose the weight and get outside. It won’t happen right away, and weight loss is mostly about diet but feeling better can lead to eating better. Don’t be embarrassed or grossed out, you are human and you’re going through things. You are not alone. Things will get better if you focus on taking one step after another. Call your therapist. Don’t think about it, do it. Get out for a walk. Make a plan. One day, one step at a time. Wishing you well.

Yes, you will come out of it. I had to stop taking meds for anti depression to feel like a normal person again and start losing weight. Life is full of ups and downs. Maybe you just hit your low and the best is yetto come!

It’s alright. Sometimes all of us go through different kinds of insecurities. Even I have stalked ex’s of people I was dating and it’s quite common when you know someone.

Don’t take it too hard. My suggestion would be get your life back in control by working on yourself and your career. Get your confidence back. Just because you put on weight doesn’t mean you don’t look good. I have put on weight and I know people who have put some weight during this quarantine. Weight gain and loss is quite normal.

Just remember this too shall pass. Don’t be hard on yourself. Focus on getting your life back on track and you’ll be fine. Good luck!

It feels like...‘it’s the end of the work as we know it. And I don’t feel I fine’ 🤣 if we all couldn’t laugh we would all go insane

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