I have an underlying disdain for any incompetence and I generally write people off if they don’t show improvement. I lose patience (never react but I wouldn’t staff on projects). Any tips to improve?

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Be a more compassionate and understand human being? As long as they are working hard and trying to improve I feel like writing off is pretty harsh. If they’re not trying to get better that’s a different story of course.

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Attitude can drive Aptitude. Try sitting with your people one on one. They will probably find it motivating that you took an interest in them.

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It's not bad to have high standards and to hold people to them. But it is important to be fair in judging everyone the same way (watch out for implicit bias), to recognize when someone's background or current life situation deserves a break, and to coach/train/mentor junior professionals. We are all senior professionals and I'm sure every one of us made mistakes and learned new skills along the way.

Another thing you can do is define what "competent" and "excellent" mean to you and share these heuristics/expectations with your team.

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Look for what they are good at and apply their skills accordingly rather than make them fit into the mold you want them to fill. That being said, sometimes cutting a bad fit loose early is the smartest strategy.

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Have you ever staffed under someonexwith a very different managing style than yours to see if it is combination that is the problem?

I have Ms I struggled with that particular SMs get great work from.

Good idea. I’ll see if there’s some of that going on.

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I hope you don’t apply this approach/attitude at home...

It’s interesting that most of the responses view your behavior as something you need to improve. The only suggestion I would make is to not address the situation in silence. Far too often we allow below average or worse performers to remain, instead of delivering difficult messages in a clear manner. If someone is not meeting the standards of their position, they either need to improve or be let go. Stringing then along because you would rather pass the problem to someone else does not benefit anyone.

Agree but make sure you are fair and consistent with your expectations from everyone. Lastly, a good lesson to follow is...”hire slow and fire fast”. We need to hire for behaviors not competencies. We typically hire people for what they know and fire them for who they are. Reasons most people leave...People leave their boss ..not the job.

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