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Over 40 in Consulting

I have been driving on trips for years and my wife doesn’t. However, my 18 year old daughter now is wanting to drive on family trips, and my wife supports the idea. Is it wrong for me to insist on driving my wife and two daughters? I just want to be careful not to cross the line of sexism.

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I wouldn’t look at it from a sexist perspective. I’d look at it from a driving experience perspective. My daughter will be 17 soon and I wouldn’t let her drive on a long trip unless there was very little traffic. I’d feel the same way if she were a boy.

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D1, thank you. I would also feel the same way if she were a boy.

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It’s normal for you to want your family to be safe. You should let your daughter drive if she’s proven she has the skill to do so. Driving on interstate highways between cities is a good experience to learn car control at speed with relatively little traffic. It’s good practice for higher speed urban driving. Stay alert and engaged, but don’t over coach her. This isn’t sexism and if you think it is you’ve been brainwashed. Tell anyone else who thinks it is to twist off.

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VP1, Agreed. Thanks for your input. She’s a very good driver. I know she can handle it. I will let her drive.

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By the time I was 17, my dad let me drive while towing the boat. Many times I’d hook it up and meet him at the river after work. 🤷🏻‍♀️ It was a massive confidence booster to be entrusted with his precious boat. I was a good driver. My sister was not a good driver and was never given that responsibility. Ever. I don’t think he’d let her do that now and we are in our 40s. 😂 If you let her drive, she will remember this forever. Have fun!

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Nice. I should have let her drive at age 17. But definitely not too late. I will let her drive. Thanks for sharing your wonderful experience.

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I read the other day that we let people born in 2004 drive? This can't be true!?

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Scary ain’t it? Lol

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Sounds like a great idea for a longer trip. Let her drive for an hour or two..

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My son drove the whole family from Philly to Va Beach last summer when he was 17. He was responsible and scheduled breaks along the way. At some point, we have to give our kids room to learn and trust that they will do the right things.

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Agreed! My daughter is a very good driver as well.

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As a female, I hate driving. It has nothing to do with my capabilities or my willingness to be independent. I was raised a latch key kid and I’ve pretty much been taking care of myself since I was 10. I have been working since the day I turned 16 (literally stayed on my birthday), put myself through undergrad and grad school working full time and going to school full time. I remain independent but I still hate driving. As a teenager, my mother would let me drive on road trips during long stretches of interstate travel where traffic was minimal and few disruptions. I did enjoy that. But now, nope I hate it. In my late 20’s I was around a table of male executives trying to show off by naming their dream cars - each trying to one-up the other with price and obscurity. One even said a six car garage and proceeded to make each. Then they asked me since I was noticeably silent - I said a car I didn’t have to drive. I’d be happy with a Honda Civic if it came with a driver. They were floored to say the least. Personally, I would love for someone else to drive and I don’t see this as a man’s role.

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Interesting. Thanks for sharing. That’s another reason why I would want to be the one driving. But if my daughter enjoys it, and wants to drive, I will let her do it on long trips and switch on the way back.

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There’s a reason their insurance is so much higher.. i wouldn’t feel guilty saying no.

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Your car...assume you’re paying for the trip etc...you get to decide who drives. If you like driving and/or see it as a service to your family, keep on driving. If you want to let your daughter get the experience of driving, go for it.  Neither of those options has to have a sexism overlay. like SM2, I hate driving and am delighted for any person of any gender to do it!

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Thank you for your advice. Makes sense.

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My dad let me drive our RV (36’ long) on a lonely stretch of interstate when I was 16 (started driving at 14 with parents) Good experience - let her try it and soon you’ll be taking a break.

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Agreed

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Why doesn't your wife ever drive on the trips?

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Thanks for sharing. This is very helpful. My daughter is a very good driver. I will go ahead and let her drive.

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We took a road trip this summer and I made my two teenage sons drive for part of the way because it’s good experience for them and I wanted to be able to observe their driving. If your daughter is 18, she’s going to be driving without you soon enough and you want to make sure she’s as good a driver as possible. If she wants to drive, I definitely think you should let her. I’m not sure it’s sexist as much as it’s little but controlling 😉. My husband insisted on doing all of the driving until I explained how much I enjoyed driving on long road trips and he reluctantly agreed to let the rest of us drive. Now that he’s used to it, I think he enjoys letting go of the wheel every now and then!

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