I have really low self esteem. Have for a long time. Grew up hating myself for being gay. Then for being overweight. Lost the weight. Then wasn’t happy with my “status” so I taught myself to code

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One thing that keeps me sane is keeping my self worth away from my career at all costs. Now it's just like the things I value in others- my creativity, my boldness, my values, my generosity. Think about how you want to be remembered- as a great consultant? Or as a specific kind of person?

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I did the exercise of writing myself a eulogy (best if you're not feeling any self harm thoughts) and this helped clarify what I actually value and who I aspire to be, and how I aspire to be seen by others.

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and got a job here. Since then I gained weight. I’m terrible at managing money. I’m dating an addict who loves me but has a long road ahead of him.

All that being said this job is really the only thing about myself I’m proud of. The idea of ever leaving or losing it gives me a knot.

Does anyone else put all their self worth into their job?

Seeing a therapist trying to work thru this. Fully realize this is problematic but the issues are very, very deep rooted and it’s going to take a long time to convince myself I’m worth a shit. But until then I wonder if anyone else has double anxiety about work bc their self worth hinges upon it.

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