I have tens of thousands of cc / tax debt weighing me down. It’s hard not to equate my self worth w/ it. No secret shopping habits - just unsteady work. Probably my most shameful secret.. cont.

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I absolutely dug myself out of debt over the last 2 years. It starts with a budget. Then save a small emergency fund so you don’t have to use your credit cards. Get a personal low interest loan to pay off your credit cards and NEVER use them again. Dave Ramsey’s baby steps are a good construct to start with, read Total Money Makeover. At the end of the day, you have to live below your means any way you can. I’m supporting a family of 4 on just my salary, so we have to make sacrifices and I try not to compare my life to colleagues’ lives. We don’t go out to eat. We don’t take fancy vacations. I dress in Target. We budget for everything. And it’s honestly not a burden as long as you put your FOMO to bed. It feels so good to pay those debts off. Worth every sacrifice. You can do it. You can.

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SC thank you! Yeah it was never discussed in my family clearly to my detriment. There was so much emotion attached to the subject whereas I could have obviously used to practical tips .. like to never get into credit card debt in the first place.

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Many CC companies are lowering interest rates for those who ask if you say “I have been negatively effected but Covid 19.”

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I had about 15-20k of cc debt hanging over me for years. If you can get one, a debt consolidation loan (I used Marcus) will usually get you a lower rate and one payment, plus your credit score rockets up when you zero out utilization.

The trick is not filling up your cc’s again, which I was on the road to doing till I got a financial advisor. Not all of them are expensive and even a three month consultation can really help you with the habits that got you there.

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$30k in cc’s and others in tax / loans. So might be worth speaking to an advisor on whether bankruptcy is an option. I never thought it was ok morally but then again, cc companies have made a lot off of me. I’m 39... so unfortunately I don’t have much time to wait until I pay it off before I meet someone. Then again it’s possible many might have twice as much if not more in student loan debt so obviously if I can consolidate at a low interest, that would be helpful. I feel very ashamed but on the other hand everyone has issues. And that’s mine. So.. hopefully I’ll have a jump in my next salary by some miracle. And meet a guy who won’t judge me or will be solution oriented enough to help me budget & tackle.

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Thank you. Yeah. I imagine if I got a higher paying job and ideally met someone where we’re splitting rent.. and like.. I write a best selling novel.. no pressure.

Honestly $30k in debt is not abnormal. Keep in mind that most people have $20k plus in credit card debt, and others have mortgages. Just learn what your spending triggers are and how to hit pause or slow down instead of impulse buying. Get a coach and stick to it, you’ve got this. And stop beating yourself up, some factors are out of your control and others you need to forgive and get stronger.

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Aww. Thank you! But also so sad that Americans have so much debt. It would be amazing if something disrupted the credit card industry. I can’t imagine what their margins are when their rates are at 15%+.

To follow this - anyone have advice for budgeting in unsteady income? I was interviewing for full time but then of course Covid happened. I’ve also really struggled to even get emergency savings w/ my income situation especially now.

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How much are we talking here?

Since you’re confessing to get it off your chest.

Do whatever you can to consolidate that debt further into a lower interest payment.

It’ll wreck your credit but bankruptcy at least zeroes out the debt and let’s you dig out.

And on the relationship bit: yeah there’s no way around that one, to be honest. Hide it, and when it comes out it will be 10x worse. Be open about it, and you scare them away.

It would be different if it was regular student debts which so many have.... hard to partner up with someone who doesn’t have their shit together, especially in times like these.

And you’ll be settling for who can get and keep now. Versus when you’ve gotten out of the whole.

There’s nothing like vise that debt puts on your chest.

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When I met my wife (we were 25) she had something like 12,000 cc debt across 15 cards. We moved in together and built a plan. Closed them all except one Visa, and paid them all off one at a time, paying the minimum on all and whatever was left was put against the one with the highest interest rate, or lowest balance so that bill would go away. That money was then added to the next one the following month. I think we paid everything off in two or three years, both of us making less than 30k a year each and paying rent in LA. I’m sure others have more modern suggestions but I guess the point is, don’t beat yourself up about it. Debt shouldn’t get in the way of someone loving you. If it does then WTF is up with their priorities? You can get out of this if you stick to a plan.

Oh. Also, her situation was completely alien to me. I grew up with very little so I always shopped at cheap places, cooked my own meals etc. never liked “nice places” cuz I guess I felt like I didn’t fit in. But I loved her (still do) and I get to be the cheap one. Come to think of it a bottle of $90 moisturizer just showed up on the doorstep today. Meanwhile I’m buying 3 packs of Perry Ellis underwear at Ross for 7.99. Okay, hope you’re laughing. Gotta go heat up these leftovers. TTFN

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And something I am terrified to share with men when getting in a relationship, let alone talk about. Hence anonymous app. Anyone have any inspiring stories of overcoming something similar or sharing the issue w/ a partner?

@OP — I always paid myself first. Still do. Taxes + something extra. Anything helps. No matter what. I got laid off once, and found a contract in another city. If it looked like I wouldn’t hit my savings goal during a pay period, I would sleep in the back of my truck, instead of a hotel. Motivation always breaks down. Make your savings sacred. Make it a habit.

For the record, Chase is so bad that they aren’t even enabling customers to call and get their interest rates lowered. Can only talk if I’m having an emergency. They’re seriously the worst and I hope the better business bureau cracks down on them. It’s so infuriating.

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