I have terrible anxiety in general - I just moved to nyc and I’m suddenly having all of this fear and anxiety about my safety here. Specifically, a huge fear of being kidnapped/sex trafficked. Does anyone have advice on how to stay safe in the city as a young woman? Or any words of comfort are appreciated ❤️

likehelpful
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I think one thing that will help is to not believe everything you hear about NYC. It sounds to me that you’re reacting to all the stories about the rising crime rate and people painting NYC as this crazy dangerous place to live. The reality is most people who said those things weren’t city residents.

Have things gotten hairy in recent years? Yes, but that happened everywhere. And, that’s to be expected when people lose their jobs and their ability to provide the necessities for their families.

However, things have gotten better recently.

I don’t know what neighborhood you’re in. But, my other suggestion is to not assume everyone is out to get you. This is a city of hundreds of millions of people. Most times, no one is paying attention nor care what you do.

That said, as some of the above posters have mentioned, there are some common sense things you can do to stay alert, aware, and protect yourself. But, I also think a reframe of your situation could help.

like

This encompasses my feelings.
I’ve lived here for over a dozen years. Just pay attention, if you feel uneasy, leave.
Look around when you get on a subway train.
I’ve take a taxi 5 blocks before because it was 3 am. Don’t question making decisions that will make you feel more comfortable

But overall, it is still a safe city comparatively. I know it’s so easy to hear the stories and stress, I’ve been there. Remember the news is the news and there to get views/tell the bad things. Millions of people also get around the city safely every day, but that’s not as interesting 🙂

likesmart

Get to know your neighbors. Seriously. And neighborhood, the dude at the bodega, the locals on the block, the barista, the bartender

Be Sesame Street, young Padawan

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Be mindful of who's around you at all times. Don't use your phone or have earbuds in while outside.

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The best part of New York City over any other place in the US is that YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. I’ve walked home at 3 am through the streets and I feel so safe because there’s thousands of people in the building, in cars, walking around, driving around. I know if anything goes wrong, there’s tons of people I can run to and lots of good samaritans willing to help. Because we’re all here anxiously trying to make NYC a better place to live.

like

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are never alone. ❤️

Share your location w close friends at all times

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Thank you guys so much! This definitely helps me. I think it’s been a mix of moving to a massive city (only lived in smaller cities before) and my anxiety, and being really unfamiliar with the area I’m in in Brooklyn, and having a 10 min walk alone to the subway. My parents are sending me a little keychain with mace and a small taser and I’m def going to check out those self defense classes! Hoping that should ease some anxiety. I already take medication for my general anxiety, but this is something totally new! Thanks for all your tips ❤️

likeuplifting

Been living in NYC my whole life, and echo others in being aware of your surroundings. It’s not as bad as the horror stories you hear if you keep your wits about you.

Hitfit is a Krav Maga (sp?) studio that hosts free personal defense training for women that could be interesting for you to check out.

likesmart

NYC tends to exacerbate anxiety in general so highly aligned with above posts on addressing your internal anxiety with medicine or therapy. In addition, it’s important to be street smart here - back against a wall when waiting for subway, leave situations that feel sketch (do not worry about being rude), have some sort of noise making device on you, etc. It’s also a city of helpers - people who might not smile at you and say hi but who will go out of their way if you ask, so know that too.

like

So true. Within my first days in NYC, a person chased me half a block to give me my keys which I’d dropped, and another person put down heavy grocery bags to stop (unasked) and help me parallel park in a tight spot. I’ve received random flowers from strangers, had some of the best conversations and compliments from random passings, constant surprise “we made too much” meals dropped off from neighbors, even had my local bodega guy come to my birthday party one year.

NYers are incredibly kind and connected people

like

Maybe get a ring camera (you can get an attachment for your door so you don’t need to drill anything) and they have travel alarms that slip under your front door and go off if the door is opened (in addition to your deadlock, naturally)

likehelpful

Yes! I’ve actually been looking into these! Thank you

Carry a little keychain-sized mace with you, a pocket air horn and a loud whistle. What part of town do you live in and is there anything specific that is trigger concerns for your safety?

like

If it’s really bad, you may consider medicine to get you through and stabilize you. No shame in treating your brain.

smart

I felt this way when I first moved here too -- especially because I lived in a rundown neighborhood and often walked 15 minutes from the subway to my place alone and late at night. My recos:
1. Start assuming the best of your neighbors and take time to acknowledge them and get to know them.
2. Be aware of your surroundings, but project confidence and comfort. If you clutch mace while you walk down the street, people will notice.
3. If you feel nervous while walking alone, call someone on the phone or pretend that you're talking to someone on the phone. My theory is that I'm less likely to be snatched if someone on the other line might hear the altercation.

And a reminder that most crime is perpetrated by people who know their victims. The likelihood of something happening to you is extremely low.

like

Take some self defense classes. Krav Maga? Maybe if you feel stronger in your body your mind will align.

I had a *situation* in another city before I moved here, and I actually feel safer in nyc for several reasons! some things that help me are:
1) my Apple Watch having cell service and always being on me, so I know i can always be found and I can always call 911
2) I have a small taser I put in my purse if I’m going out alone at night to an isolated place, gives me piece of mind. Also great to have on your nightstand if you get anxiety about safety in your house. (I think these are technically illegal in nyc so you may have to buy it elsewhere)
3) know that, one of the great things about nyc is you are rarely, if ever, out of earshot of other people. Both walking around outside and in our cramped apartments! It’s comforting to me knowing if I scream, someone will always hear.
4) another thing that’s nice here (for safety) is how small apartments are - there’s literally nowhere for someone to hide.

Not sure what borough you live in but you can get mace and taser at the hair store.

If possible, move to a building with a doorman. Even if it’s a super small apt. It’ll give you peace of mind to go out late at night and come home. Also would prevent your apt from ever getting broken in. Keep in mind NYC is one of the safest places in the world. I would much rather live here where there are people everywhere than in the suburbs where everyone goes to bed at 9pm!

I live in Toronto, not New York but I think regardless of what city you live in it’s important to take small measures that make you feel more safe. Like wearing an Apple Watch that has cell service for emergency calls/texts. Use it to have a friend watch your whereabouts when you’re on the move alone. Realistically, maybe even statistically, you’re unlikely to be attacked and taken but taking those small measures will help you manage the anxiety you feel. I experience those same fears, especially on behalf of my daughter. Doing little things like adding a tracker tag to her jacket just makes me feel safer sending her out the door so I can function and not worry all day.

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