I have this old college friend who’s always there for me in bad moments but I’m reconsidering our friendship due to some things that happened. First off, she’s a bit of a pessimistic sarcastic person and judges too fast. I realized our mentalities have changed overtime, because when we discuss we’re often debating which can be exhausting. However, we had the same career goals, and it seems like she wants to move in the city where I live to have better opps and have similar lifestyle as mine

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“Always been there for me in bad moments….”

But: “I’m sick of listening to her BS”

……..pretty clear that the problem resides with you, based on what you have shared.

The power of selfishness- dilutes all sense of self introspection

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Also when I don’t check in with her to see how she’s doing, she doesn’t. But when she does reach out, it’s just to ask me why I’m not reaching out to her. That’s where we are at…

It’s normal for friendships to evolve and fade over time.

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Just be straightforward... tell her what you are telling us. And talk it out.

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Yes I talked to her. Thanks !

Because of her being frustrated with her current lifestyle and professional life, she complains a lot so I listen and try my best to help her out. But this lasted for over a year, and it’s just draining for me, as I realized that we were more focused on her when we discuss. Beside asking me how am I, she barely asks any question about my life and goes on with hers. Going back to the negativity, that doesn’t help in my life when I’m seeking for advice from a friend. I don’t know how to approach this topic with her and if I’m getting something out of this friendship anymore.

That’s what my close friends told me when I asked for advice. But I’m planning to have a conversation with her and see how it goes because I’m hoping we can keep our friendship long term especially if she moves in my city in the near term.

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Have you told her what you need?

I’m planning to have a conversation with her about it. I definitely don’t want her to misunderstand my needs or take it the wrong way.

How'd it go?

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