I have to admit, a few of my direct reports are driving me crazy. They complain about everything, push back on everything, and threaten to leave constantly. I’m not perfect, but I am overly empathetic and doing everything I can to support them, to the extent that it’s really pulling me down. And the company can’t afford to loose them, so I’m stuck not being able to be more straight with them. Anyone have any advice? I’m drowning in their drama and negativity.

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The best advice I can give is to make sure you guard yourself against being pulled down. Mindset is everything, and too many people today want to “blow out your candle” and constantly complain. As leaders we can lead by example, remain positive, and focus on the right things to inspire our teams. But mindset really matters. I have learned to pay attention to that when I hire. Negative people - no matter how “good” - suck the life out of everyone around them. So I hire for talent + mindset. And if they leave, you will replace them. We are all expendable. Ignore the threats. I’m sending you good vibes today, you’ll get through it. Just keep yourself from getting infected if you can!

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Just sending support. I had a few reports like that and finally got a new job to get away from them because I found it so time consuming and draining to deal with them.

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Agree with having to ignore threats as 99% of the time it’s an attention-robbing habit. Stay positive, give them as many projects as you can that challenge/interest them to help balance out the ones that don’t and if they leave, they leave. That’s out of your control.

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They have a job to do, sometimes is hard or not inspiring. But that’s the job. If they want to leave it, up to them but they should not threat you for asking them to do their job.

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You should tell them what you just told all of Fishbowl. As a leader and manager, be direct. Tell them what you aren’t doing is engaging in their negativity—and to save it for whatever private Slack-biting channel they’re using. But what you will do is help them. If they have a blocker, present it and you’ll help them work on a solution. Meantime, we’ve all seen business gut their companies and still function. You can afford to lose them. If you have to, and are empowered to, start with one. The most negative counterproductive toxic non-team player. Otherwise, focus on the work and being a team to get it all done.

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At least your reports don’t seem to be going straight to HR. In my world, it seems that’s the first step. Go get yourself someone who will listen to your side of the story and become your advocate while avoiding any kind of pushback. It’s like hiring a lawyer. Then I hear from HR the list of gripes and have to give the opposite side of the story since HR has to first believe what they’re told. And I come off as the bad guy by simply describing reality.

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Why can’t the company afford to lose them?

Yeah yeah, so there’s nothing a typo. 🙄

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