I honestly might break up with my boyfriend because of dead bedroom issues. We’re 26 and he acts like it’s normal to only want to sleep together every couple of weeks. Meanwhile I could do it every day. My theory is low testosterone, but I doubt he’d be interested in doing anything about it. Oof.

likeupliftingfunny
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Why do you assume low T?

I dated one girl for a long time that was very sweet but the chemistry wasn’t there, so I had a hard time getting excited for sex.

I dated someone else for a very long time where we just had different primers for intimacy. She was a bit of a fiery girl who would get visibly upset and say things that were hurtful to me, often because she was just upset in general and looking for support. We’d often fight. She wanted sex after we fought and saw it as a crucial way of staying connected. I am not a confrontational person - I often look for the middle ground in an argument and try to find a logical solution for both sides up front, and rarely raise my voice (both of which would just make her more upset…). For me, it takes some time to get over a fight before I want to be that intimate with someone again. So we only had sex every few weeks or longer. It was a communication issue, not an attraction issue.

Just two examples of factors that could lead to dead or slow bedrooms that aren’t low t.

To the comments above - there may or may not be other girls on the side. That can be another driver but it’s probably a symptom, not a cause if that’s the case. And it’s not set in stone.

Every other girl I’ve dated I’ve had no issue getting intimate with at literally every available opportunity. No low T here.

Are there other issues in the relationship? It is worth stepping back and reflecting on what could be keeping him from wanting to be intimate with you.

likehelpful

Great perspective here! A lot of people don’t realize that intimacy for some people isn’t always about getting your rocks off. Sometimes it’s about the connection.

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Been in your boyfriends shoes. He has a side chick or multiple

likefunny

What’s wrong with side chicks?

likefunny

Situations like these end up in Divorce, might be good to break up now.

likefunny

Hm have a conversation with him about it. From my experience, disengaged boyfriend in the bedroom means disengaged and checked out of the relationship. Conversation about it is a path to solutioning. Best of luck! At mid 20s, you should be having the best sex of your life.

likefunny

If it's gotten worse since you moved in it might be that you guys see each other too much. When I am around my gf a ton I switch to a more cozy vibe because we are so comfortable around each other. Harder to get in the mood vs if we haven't seen each other all day cause we've been out doing other things

likehelpful

It’s probably not gonna get better

likefunny

When I wanted to do the same with my ex at that age was because I wasn’t attracted to her anymore and would’ve rather watched porn and masturbate

like

Wow, this seems to be a very common theme on the Confession bowl. It just proves intimacy is very important. OP, I would talk to your boyfriend about your concern; he deserves that much. If he resistant to doing anything about then go from there but at least give him a chance to fix it.

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What is this bowl? And it needs a 🔑?

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Are you sure it’s just that he’s not watching too much porn?

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Trade up!

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If you are not thumping like rabbits at that age, it’s likely not going to work out. Probably best to cut your losses and move on

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This is a life time, which is much longer than 5 years in the grand scheme of things

helpful

Y’all are having sex? 🤷🏻‍♀️

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How is it when you are intimate? Could he be suffering from ED or performance anxiety and therefore shying away from intimacy?

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He probably just has a roster.

Are you sure that the relationship is clearly defined?

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