I invited my SO to a work event where people are bringing a plus one. She said yes at first, then later followed up with an “if she can make it.” This happens almost every time I invite her to things, citing work. Last night I got really sad after that and couldn’t understand why she would never put me above work. She’s a dentist and has control over her schedule - can schedule treatment for another day or stop seeing patients at a certain time. Am I making a big deal out of a work event?

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Also key here- does she know that her presence at the event is important to you? Maybe you can communicate that it’s something that would make you happy, that you’d like to go to together, etc.

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No imo. It’s possible she just doesn’t realize it’s important to you that she comes. I would say something

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Has she met your coworkers previously? Maybe she just doesn’t want to meet a bunch of new people.

Is it a matter of not prioritizing or maybe she doesn’t want to be around your coworkers or something. It might be she doesn’t like them or isn’t comfortable around them.

I don’t know a single dentist who works after 3pm, she smashing the homies

This is what I thought too, but she actually works pretty late, which is surprising for me as well

This is never a good sign. Been there and after years trying to make SO understand that they need to be present in my life beyond their work but it only spiralled into more issues. Address them, if the world’s busiest leaders can have time for their loved ones, then no one is truly busy to spend time with the one they value

I think it’s a showing up issue for me. Basically if my events at 7, and she’s scheduled to be off at 5, and her last patient needs treatment, she’ll treat them instead of scheduling it out for another day. This will render us late because she still needs to drive home and get ready. Her work is at least 30 minutes from the apartment. I’d almost prefer for her to just say no instead of have me anxiously thinking if she’ll make it to the event

Cringe response by her

Have you made it known that you want her there for support/companionship etc?

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