{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I just ended a relationship over (in part) not wanting kids. This is the second relationship out of two in the past five years I’ve had end because of this issue. Are they all like this? Why does no one seem to believe me when I say I don’t want kids? Feeling very blue and hopeless.", "post_id": "60d1537c1d37e6001c529490", "reply_count": 16, "vote_count": 10, "bowl_id": "5f20b8519110d60021d539ab", "bowl_name": "Childfree Lifestyle" }

I just ended a relationship over (in part) not wanting kids. This is the second relationship out of two in the past five years I’ve had end because of this issue. Are they all like this? Why does no one seem to believe me when I say I don’t want kids? Feeling very blue and hopeless.

likehelpful
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I looked for guys that said in their profile that they don’t want kids (and 30+ honestly), that is more of a sure thing! Found one, and it’s so nice to be aligned.

likeupliftinghelpful

I saw that a lot of men that are serious about it just wrote it on their profile. Especially those over 30.

If you are on Reddit, I’ll recommend checking r/childfree. One of the best communities out there for CF folks like us. I hope this helps!

like

Thank you! I’ll check it out!

When my SO and I met, neither of us really care about having kids, but it was also clear to me that neither of us has a strong stand on the matter. So I knew it was subject to change going in, and I was ok with that. It’s kinda like it’s fine if we don’t and it’s fine if we do attitude. Now we are both leaning toward trying to have one. I think people expect women to change their mind (because there are examples like my SO and I, sorry). So I think what’s important upfront is not necessarily just you being vocal about not wanting kids then let them decide whether they find that acceptable, but to truly understand where they stand and how firm is their stand.

likehelpful

Feel you. They don’t believe you- once you’re older, putting up a front, he’ll be the one to change you.

like

Exactly!

I feel you. Went through the same thing last weekend. You’ll find someone who also wants to stay child free.

helpful

I’m sorry you also went through this recently!

Its hard to find people who don't want kids but its not impossible. Chin up @OP, there are many fish in the sea who feel this way. Hope you feel better!

like

Thank you!

Hang in there!

like

I’m dealing with this too! On dating apps I put on my profile that I don’t want kids! sometimes I wonder if guys say they want kids just try to get girls but they don’t care either way....?

I think that happens a lot! This past experience started like that where he said he didn’t care either way, but it became very obvious he did want kids and didn’t even realize he wasn’t on the fence anymore.

like

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