I just found out that after a mutual family agreement not to, my little brother is dropping his kid off at my mom’s for overnights. My mom has diabetes, high blood pressure and COPD. We miss her but have been staying away to protect her. Now my mom says she doesn’t care about the virus anymore. I have no relationship with my brother because he’s an abusive narcissist-but should I just respect my mom’s wishes and let me kids visit-knowing she has accepted this virus to be her fate?

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Respect your moms wishes as she can make her own decisions and you may not be aware of other pressures at play. But this does not mean you need to let your kids visit. That being said, risk is relatively low for your children assuming they have no conditions. But they could bring it home to you and whoever you live with.

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Sorry for how annoyingly I wrote that but i don’t know their names 😂

I’ve had a similar “argument” with my sister. My hubby and I and 2 kids haven’t been around other humans since mid-March (we even get our groceries delivered). I have been of the mindset that my parents are part of our “family cohort”, they just live in a different house. So they don’t see anyone else, we don’t see anyone else, but we go over there any come over here maybe once a week or so. My sister (whose hubby is going into work at a plant where there have been outbreaks) is appropriately quarantining away from my parents. BUT, it kills her that my kids get to see their grandparents and her kids don’t. She stopped speaking to me on Easter when she found out they came over. Told me I was going to kill them. Out of all of the people now going to restaurants and salons and protesting (and even to the grocery store) why is it the end of the world that my kids see their grandparents? I’ve asked doctor friends who’ve agreed with me (thats its not unsafe). I respect her opinion, but why can’t she respect mine and my parents? PLUS, a new study just came out that says its unlikely kids can spread the virus (so interesting...)

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This is a good read -


https://www.childrensmercy.org/health-care-providers/providers/connect-with-childrens-mercy/newsletter-the-link/specialissueapril14_Newdata/

I’d talk to her again and explain how you are worried about her and don’t want to risk fewer years with her. If she won’t comply at the end of the day it is unfortunately her decision.

With regard to the brother, was he apart of the mutual family decision? If so, I’d reach out to him and understand why he needs to drop off his kid every night. Even if it’s annoying maybe you could offer to help babysit to protect your mom.

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Hey the antibody test. Have more info before making a decision

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Best wait for some fda testing..hearing that there are large errors in results.

Unrelated: do you want us to start a GoFundMe to have your brother killed?

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I will donate... I feel like Joe Exotic

Ouch. I’m sorry to hear this. It’s a tough one.

Your mom is an adult and can make her own decisions.

In terms of what this means for you and your own family - I suggest the focus be on what’s best for your children instead of what’s best for your mom / your mom’s wishes.

Lol your kids (or you) have to have it to give it to your mom. Are you not concerned about that part? There’s also some evidence that children don’t readily transmit the virus to adults. https://www.charlotteobserver.com/news/coronavirus/article242403731.html

IMO, you should probably respect your mom’s wishes. She’s an adult and can make her own choices. But, her chances of getting the disease from your children probably aren’t as high as you’d imagine; especially if you’re “socially distancing” otherwise.

Your brother is incredibly selfish. But I don’t know how much you can do if your mom wants this. Maybe just let her know she will die alone if she does get the virus because you (or your brother ) will not be allowed to visit.

If they have gone already, no point in stopping now. Sorry about your situation

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