{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I just got promoted over a friend and I am really worried about how this will impact her. To be honest I think she is even more deserving of the promotion than me. What do I do to make it better so our friendship isn’t poisoned by this?", "post_id": "6144d124b3649a0029a72220", "reply_count": 9, "vote_count": 1, "bowl_id": "5976222cab932800101a9ca4", "bowl_name": "Women in Advertising" }

I just got promoted over a friend and I am really worried about how this will impact her. To be honest I think she is even more deserving of the promotion than me. What do I do to make it better so our friendship isn’t poisoned by this?

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I would never fault a friend for superiors promoting them over me but I would just stay focused on the friendship, and don’t make a big deal of the fact that she’s not “on your level” Did you both go after one job or was it just a promotion?

likehelpful

A good friend will be happy for you! Give them space if they need it as they might be disappointed in general but it won’t be about you.

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I had this happen this last year and I don’t think my friend resented me at all. I think she was genuinely happy for me and just frustrated at the bosses for not also recognizing her. The emotions didn’t really overlap which was a huge relief. I was still a sounding board for venting about it and tried to give advice for how to talk to the boss about it (not that she needed it). She ended up getting the promotion a few months later, and even negotiated which is more than I can say for myself. Your career is not at odds with anyone else’s and if she’s mature she’ll recognize this and be happy for you! Just be humble and it’ll be gravy.

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Me too! My friend was pissed at the bosses, not me.

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I really appreciate everyone weighing in! You’re all right that she was excited for me but understandably annoyed at our leadership. (I am too for her.) Thank you all ❤️

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Don’t defend your achievements or feel like you need to downplay the fact you earned this. Do have empathy and understand her feelings, but if she is a friend she will be mad/frustrated at the situation for her and not you- she will be excited for you and cheers you.

helpful

Here to say I understand what you’re feeling. I’ve been fast tracked in my agency, meaning I’m well above the friends I started out with in title. There has been some jealousy and resentment. I try my best not to draw notice or share about my success, which sucks, especially because I’ve worked really hard to earn my opportunities.

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And more importantly, to raise her to my level? I already expressed to my manager that she is amazing and deserves a promotion too.

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