I just started dating someone (we've only had a few dates, taking it slow, haven't even kissed). Today is their birthday. Will be another week before we see each other again as both have kid responsibilities. Gift or no gift? I know where they work to have flowers sent, but is this necessary at this point (also, is it creepy at this stage)? I'm interested in the person, but obviously too soon to know whether I would want to date exclusively

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Someone sent me flowers to work after a few dates for Valentine’s Day and it made me uncomfortable because my
Coworkers were curious who they were from. I would skip sending the flowers to work and consider sending them directly home if you have address or to give it to them in person next time you see them. either way acknowledge the birthday on the day and say you would like to celebrate soon

likesmartuplifting

Shit I’m 25 and I would love it 😂 except I don’t tell people I’m dating where I work. I’d probably just ask honestly

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I think you should start kissing

likefunnyhelpfuluplifting

Lol , No. start kissing only then send flowers to her office

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Thanks all. Birthday has passed. Purchased a small book about a civil rights activist that she admires, such she seemed to appreciate, and shared a nice meal. Success!

likefunny

Awesome! You kept it nice and simple. The book idea shows that you listen and are thoughtful. That’s what’s up!! Enjoy!

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Flowers to the house? Not the office if you aren’t sure about the work environment.

likefunny

I love flowers to the office. I'm never home and IMO at least half the enjoyment from flowers is other people knowing someone sent you flowers.

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Send a single flower, in a box. With a small card. Tasteful, discreet and doesn't have to haul a bought around.

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totally agree! :)

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How has dating been in your 40s? Just curious.

likefunny

Im really sorry to hear he has taken the stance of “if your son doesn’t grow up soon”. Really, my ex was bonus dad to my kids and always seemed to have a foot out the door. It was always something. After everything I left. He was toxic af and thought he was some kind of gift. Sure he was charismatic but he could be really horrible while making you feel like it’s your fault. Fast forward it’s been 18 months. I figured out he was an immature little boy who had to have everything his way. He needed to grow the f up and realize he was the adult and the example. My kids and I are better off. He regrets everything and would rather have the family we built back.

If there is any chance of saving your marriage do it. If not, tell him he doesn’t need to wait. Leave now and not hold it over you and your son. (Also for your son…counseling has been a big thing with my kids and me. Individually and together. Especially for my kids they are learning to deal with big feelings and hopefully we are breaking cycles)

Best of luck.

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Just call and wish. Say looking forward to meeting again. That should show enough interest but no commitment

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I see nothing wrong with flowers. Guys do the bare minimum these days.

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SM your right but it’s difficult knowing how sensitive people can be. It’s so easy to block, complain, etc. so I just go slow or ask for advice…

UPDATE: the birthday has come and gone. Thoughtful gift given and received with appreciation. All is well moving forward. I'm blown away by all of the comments. Thanks everyone!

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How is this work related? In all seriousness, good luck - I was blocked by approximately 10,000 females until my wife actually appreciated my insanity. From experience - no - don’t be a hopeless romantic, do not send flowers anywhere in this stage of your relationship

likefunnyupliftingsmarthelpful

Simple call or text on that day, I’m sure it would be appreciated.

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def don’t send flowers. creepy imo. but can wait to give (small bouquet) of flowers or chocolate to her in person

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I wouldn’t send flowers too much attention. Send something more discreet.

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Depends on the woman. Some women like that kind of attention

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Send flowers. It’s not creepy as long as they told you where they work. Not 100 long stemmed red roses but a tasteful bouquet.

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No kiss no gift

likefunny

No gift no kiss

likefunny

I was dating a guy for 2 weeks before Christmas and he gave me a really nice Christmas gift, I was creeped out by it.

He is now my husband.

likefunny

Well everyone told me that was sweet and I was convinced to continue to date him lol

💐 are only creepy if she isn’t sure about you.
I say send them. If she felt awkward and not over the moon, she’s not that into you.

likesmart

If you don’t know her full address then don’t send flowers! Just give her a call and send a birthday text and give her flowers when you see her next. If someone I was casually seeing had to look up my address online in order to send stuff, I would find that super creepy and an invasion of privacy. She would find that doubly so if she’s working for a police dept.

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Give a book. Personal, but not too much.

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A book titled "HOW TO ATTRACT PEOPLE WHO WON'T STALK YOU AT WORK"

funnylike

Flowers are a safe bet as they’re a little older and would appreciate the gesture but I would send them to the house or something. Getting them at work may get them a lot of questions and you’ve only been out without much physical connection a handful of times. Might set a bad precedent in their mind about you when they remember getting asked a million questions at work for someone they barely connected with

likesmart

Start simple. A mobile gift coupon may work.

likesmart

I like EY2s starbucks idea. Something like "just wanted to get your birthday coffee!". Its cute, simple and thoughtful.

...assuming they drink coffee

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Call to say happy birthday and ask if you can stop by her work to buy her coffee or lunch. Presumably a lunch date will not interfere with kid responsibilities.

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