I keep having sex with my ex and want to get back together (this is a recent thought & he doesn’t know) but we live on opposite coasts now. We broke up in 2016 yet we manage to hook up pretty much every other time we see each other. It always starts w an innocent hangout but he still does boyfriend duties and we end up hooking up. It feels good but also wrong at the same time. Is this normal? Am I too old for this F/30? I don’t do this with any of my other exes. Not even attracted to them anymo.

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Why did the relationship end the first time around? Why do you want to get back together?

If he lives on the opposite coast and you only see each other from time to time, I wouldn’t call his occasional favors “boyfriend duty.”

I’d worry less about whether this is normal and more about whether a long distance hookup buddy is what YOU want and if you and your ex are on the same page.

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It felt like we were on track to get back together and he said he wanted to make up for when he wasn’t the best bf before. But when covid hit, I distanced myself because he works in the medical field and I wasn’t comfortable hanging out so we drifted. Now I want to get back together (if we were living in the same area) because we’re both transparent with each other and I can see how much we’ve both grown. We also still have a lot in common, similar lifestyles, and values.

If you want marriage one day yes stop now. Find someone else. You're wasting your years if he will not committ.

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Ask him if he wants commitment! If not, run. I did this on and off again wishful thinking thing for 7 or so years in my 20s-30s and I wasted good years

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thank you!!

Have you hooked up with another person after the breakup? Sometimes it’s easy to go back to familiar feelings especially when you don’t need to “add a number” to your count

Yes, plenty. I’ve had 2 boyfriends and he’s had 1 girl friend since we broke up. We both have been single since 2019

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