I know I can’t be the only one... does anyone else only feel physically attracted to men but romantically attracted to woman? All of my past relationships have failed because I cannot get emotionally attached to a man. I’m 28 and I’m barely coming to terms with this... which I yet don’t understand. Anyone have any insight from your own life experience? Analyze me for all you want.

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Thank you all for your thoughts and insights. For reference, I am a male. All of what I read so far is true. I do believe it’s internalized homophobia along with other factors. Sexual orientation/human sexuality is complicated. I have already made an appointment to see a therapist to help me sort this out. I want to understand myself better and live a happier life.


Me! I'm 25 and I'm struggling with exactly this ( Female for reference)

I'm in therapy for this. So far my strong emotionally connection to women has '(apparently) stemmed from having emotionally unavailable men in my life from my father to exes and also a traumatic childhood. But i still find myself attracted to men but emotionally attached to women. I'm currently dating a woman, and I feel like this relationship is much better so far because I feel more emotionally connected and it seems to automatically leading to a physical attraction, but i'm still figuring it all out

I also don't know if just attract and know emotionally unavailable men so automatically attribute that to men being like that because i don't know different


If I had to guess, it sounds like it might be a socialization thing. Men aren’t largely socialize to express feelings externally, and that may be causing the conflicted romantic feelings with women.

I’d think through relationships you’ve had in your life (parents, siblings, family) and see what the differences were between the relationships with men and women.

You may find that the guys you’ve been practically attracted to also had very low emotional intelligence.

Just a shot in the dark, knowing I don’t have much context.


OP are you me?


This seems like a semi common thing for “bi” people. Many of them seem to prefer one sex sexually and the other emotionally. I can’t help you out honestly but maybe it’s a comfort to know that you’re not at all alone.


Talked about this a little bit in other threads, but I also have a physical / romantic attraction to women and just a physical attraction to men. Honestly it just lets me have more fun on the sexual spectrum.

This could be internal homophobia and can be worked on therapy or through the years. I had that in my early days. The closet has much more deeper impacts in ourselves than we can realize.


...i think it is likely due to you meeting low quality men. If you are physically attracted to men, you can be emotionally attracted to them as well. Sadly...gays are much ruder (within our own community) than the general public which is definitely not helping your case.


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