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I’ve always done the rule of thumb that the gift should be the price per plate + drinks. 400 seems high, but maybe it’s because I’m poor. I’d go off their registry, if everything is 100 dollars or less do 75-100, if they are boujee do like 200-300. 400 seems like a lot.
$200 per person sounds right for where I live.
$200 per person seems reasonable for black tie. Usually, I try to cover the cost of my dinner and, if open bar, 1-2 glasses of wine. Depending on the wedding venue, you may be able to look at their website for the cost per plate. That said, since you bought a shower gift & you’re traveling to the wedding, I think you’d be justified in giving less if $400 is higher than your budget really allows.
Pro
$400 is more than adequate (even on the high side for where I’m from), especially when you factor in the shower gift and your travel expenses.
200/person seems about right where I’m from.
Pro
I generally determine how close I am to the person. An acquaintance, probably $200. Family and closer friends, I have dished out as much as $1000 between registry gift and wedding gift, usually more around $500-600. At the end of the day it should also be what you’re comfortable with. If you’re spending a ton of money on a destination wedding and maybe are tight on money generally, I’m sure someone close to you would not frown upon a gift on the smaller end.
Rising Star
I think $400 is way too high unless you are absolutely rolling in dough and this is your favorite cousin. (1) you already have a present at the shower off of the registry, (2) you are spending money to travel to the wedding.
Get something off of the registry again, around the same price range as your first gift. Or if you are comfortable go a little higher. But you absolutely do not need to give $400 for a wedding you are traveling for when you’ve already given $150 to the same couple.
More than enough.
Bowl Leader
Depends on where you are usually in Hcol like NY the cost of your plate is between 150 and 175, I usually do 300-400 to cover cost of plate.