I left consulting about 3 months ago for work life balance and the fact that I was dissatisfied with such a male dominated work environment. I joined my new job in industry since then, and my male manager and I may have some working style differences. He just asked me to work over my week off, even though I know he said he doesn’t have much that week. Even thought I joined 3 months ago, I have the right to push back right? I also feel like I need a new job with a woman manager, I’m tired lol

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Don’t we all.. Now is the time for you to set boundaries and align on work expectations. Everything you do now sets the tone regarding who you are as a colleague. I wouldn’t use the “I came for work life balance” card, but I’d say hey xxx, happy to work on this after I’m back from my leave or here are some alternative options for x,y,z in the meantime.

likesmarthelpful

Update: I pushed back and told him I would work with him to put together a PTO coverage plan, and he said that was fine! :)

likeuplifting

that’s great!! Thanks for the update 😊

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Crucial to use this as an opportunity to set boundaries, exactly as McKinsey described. Expectation setting goes both ways and whether you’re 3 days or 3 years in, you have every right to push back. Work consumes most of our lives and knowing when and where to draw the line is something that [good] leadership often respects.

likesmart

To be honest, the worst managers I have worked with over my career have been women. Stop focusing on gender labels and look at the management style, habits and expectations of your workplace. If there is a genuine need for your help during PTO, do it without complaint and you’ll earn some goodwill and gratitude. If it feels like a power play and not genuine need, push back politely citing an inability due to your vacation plans. Otherwise you’re just advertising that you aren’t a team player and you could get derailed in your ambitions.

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I will second the horrible female boss phenom. So. Much. Drama. Not every female boss I’ve worked for, but the social drama women can bring to the work place can be particularly insidious.

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He might have forgotten you were on vacay? Or if he explicitly said to work over your vacation def push back. Will say though male vs female manager doesnt matter as much as leadership style / philosophy. Ive had some really terrible experiences w female managers too 🤷🏻‍♀️ learned to generally have an initial conversation w any manager or above in setting expectations, discuss work styles, and etc to make sure we fully understand one another. Maybe having a session like that will help?

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I’m wondering if he is passively aggressively annoyed that you are taking a week off, less than 3 mos in. And ditto on trying to pull gender out of the convo. There are bad male and female managers.

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I agree it’s terrible. This was how I was “trained” when I was a junior. My time was not my own for about the first 2 years of my career, and I also deferred to my boss’ vacation schedule first, then mine, I still do. It’s messed up, I do agree! Just sharing how some people feel! 😬

This was the right approach! Great thinking OP

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I think you should try to start off on a good foot. Don’t assume the worst of this person. I’ve had some amazing male managers and most of them didn’t micromanage. Try to say - I may be away from my computer but will try to be available through phone. Call me if you need anything. Try to accommodate as much as possible if not doable just say so

I leave my work phone and laptop at home when I'm on vacation. Only given my personal number to one of my bosses before.

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Please push back. And then report back :)

The earlier you push back, the quicker he’ll understand what’s acceptable. He may also be testing the waters to see what your boundaries are.

I’ve worked in the big name industries and then switched to consulting. Send me a message and I can give you some advice. I’ve been thru toxic working condition and people. Female managers in industry isn’t better but I can help you work around this. For the fact of working over the week off. In the industry, you have to set boundaries and there is an unsaid no no. For making people work like that. You have a boss who is taking advantage of you. Same happened to me when I was a lm associate and I later learned.

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